150. List Of Unfavourable Things – by Monty

1. Dog food
2. Loud noises
3. Medium noises
4. Quiet noises
5. Noises of any description
6. Rain
7. Pigeons
8. Gravel
9. Vets – even the ones who are lovely and take care of me
10. Chicken wanting to play with me when I’m tired/busy which invariably results in a lot of barking
11. Chicken copying me
12. Doors
13. Human celebrations which require fireworks
14. People vacuuming my office
15. While I’m still in it
16. Insubordination
17. Cats who think they are better than me
18. Portable green security fencing
19. Unnecessary bureaucracy including the need for planning permission
20. Nail clipping
21. Any change of routine
22. Any form of operating outside of agreed procedure
23. Being forced into the garden when it’s cold
24. Being forced to leave Big Ted at home when we go out in the car
25. And interestingly – pork scratchings

All of the above items, with the possible exception of 9 and 20, are totally unnecessary in my opinion. I have to prepare myself now, as we are going on a special trip out in the car.

Big Ted and Big Monty 

Monty