158. The Usefulness Of Chicken – by Monty

Chicken’s capacity to be useful has come into question recently. The Fairy has suffered first hand at Chicken’s head so to speak, but to be honest, I think she should stop mentioning it now as she has milked it for all it’s worth. PC Dave at the station said he couldn’t proceed with any prosecution in the absence of a complaint, and The Fairy said she won’t make a complaint because she loves Chicken and knows she didn’t mean it. Chicken continues to deny all knowledge.

There are times however, when Chicken can be very useful indeed. At such times I am very proud to be her Commanding Officer.

Let’s discuss medicine.

It’s expensive to start with, so people wouldn’t buy it for us unless it was necessary, and of course – it works. If we are ill, it is most important that we take our medicine at the appropriate times and in the appropriate amount. I have no objection to this, as long as I have pre-approved said medicine.

If, on the other hand, I am being fed some new age herbal concoction that I have not requested, I am of a different mind. The label may say it helps dogs and cats deal with the trauma of fireworks, but I say if I haven’t ordered it myself, I will not eat it.

I am particularly proficient at identifying any foreign body in my food, and eating around it. Due to this, The Fairy has taken to hiding the tablets inside cheese or meat paste. I suspect one or two tablets have made it into my system, but I am becoming better at locating them and spitting them out. To counteract this, The Fairy always checks the floor and then attempts to re-administer any stray tablets.

The question I was wrestling with was this: Where can I hide the wet and sticky spit-out tablet?

Enter Chicken:

Stuck like glue

It took The Fairy fifteen minutes to find it.

Monty