Monthly Archives: December 2022

Fat Monty met me at the gates.

St Peter said I could all have whatever I wanted so I got a bikini and then he ran away straightaway. Then I did see my Monty waiting for me!

I did do running up to him and he did do running up to me and I did give him big snogs. We did do bouncing about and I knocked Monty on the floor and he was on his back on the floor and he was all wiggling and trying to get up so I helped him by kicking him and then he could get up. I am helpful.

I am sad that The Fairy is not with me but Monty donty did say that we could watch over her so that is better. Monty was looking all extra handsome and he is young and strong and he has no grey bits and his bottom is still big and his head is still big. He is my Monty.

Monty did take me to do super fast running and then we did have the best sleep ever in the comfiest bed ever. We is back together!

Chicken

I have to say that everything here is going well. I am still excited about my reunion with Chicken. I have taken her to some excellent places and we have spent many hours racing at full speed. Chicken is over the moon at being pain free and strong again and she hasn’t stopped smiling for a second.

It is also worth noting that Chicken is being very kind and loving towards me. Last night we slept next to each other and it was the best feeling.

I may be wrong, but I believe she has a new found respect for me which will no doubt last forever.

Monty

You will never believe who turned up at the gates. My Little Chicken!

I had a feeling she was coming. I was inexplicably drawn to the gates several times, but it was not until the final time that I knew exactly why. Chicken exploded through the gates and straight into me, wearing – and this is a true story people – a pink bikini. Good grief!

It was the most wonderful feeling to be reunited and I had to endure quite a number of kisses before she was finally calm enough to speak to me. I use the word calm in its broadest context, you understand. Perhaps the phrase as calm as she could ever be expected to be is more appropriate.

She is back to full health and strength. I know this because she barrelled into me several times, causing me to temporarily lose my balance. I pretended to fall over as I did not wish to quell her enthusiasm. She knew I was humouring her but was sweet enough not to mention it.

Over the next few days, I intend to show her the ropes, so to speak. As you know, I don’t like to blow my own trumpet, but it has to be said that I am an authority on Heaven and feel it is my duty to teach my protégée everything I know. She will no doubt be very grateful and I am expecting her to defer to my experience.

It is so wonderful to have my Chicken with me again and I know that she feels the same about being with me. We will have the most exciting time together from now on. Everything is going to be just perfect.

Monty The Great