Monthly Archives: February 2017

184. La Chupacabra Photographed

Experts are devided about the authenticity of the latest reported  La Chupacabre sighting.


La Chupacabra?

Doubts surfaced after it was revealed that the two unidentified creatures were captured on film in a suburban garden in England.

“It is a little off the beaten track for La Chupacabra,” said one investigator, “but we are willing to remain open-minded.”


Typical wild eyes and vicious claws.

Stay alert people. Stay alive.

Categories: Greyhounds

183. Windy Woes – by Chicken

BOOM! BOOM! Chicky, Chicky!

Chicky, Chicky, BOOM BOOM!

BOOM! BOOM! Chicky, Chicky, BOOM! BOOM!

I is back! I has all managed to steal the iPaddy off Monty donty wee foot.

Last nighty in the dark time I did go for a walks all on my own and I was with Arky. Ugly Cats did follow me and he did tell me that he was going to find a place to hide from the big wind because the big wind was coming. He did say that I had to all hide and I did say that Monty would all take care of me. Ugly Cats did laughing and did say that I all wouldn’t be safe if it was left to Monty. I did big barking at him because he is not allowed to say things about Monty.


Keepering my nose safe.

Then I did go home and I did tell The Fairy that Monty’s big wind was coming and I did have to hide. The Fairy did say that Monty’s wind would all be the same as normal and I would still be safe near him. She did say that he wasn’t all about to explode so I dids not need to worry.

I did some remembering and did remember that Monty did exploding in the garden when he did eat a whole big cake. When I asked Monty about his exploding bottom he did remembering as well, and did realise that he hadn’t had a big cake for years and years months. He did go off to the food kitchen to all find out where his cake was.

I did go off to all look for a gas mask.


Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: , ,

182. The Grand Re-opening – by Monty

Winter has been a disappointment with regards to snow, but I am very pleased to see temperatures rising now as we head towards Spring. Today was warm enough for us to begin work on my garden. I was able to inspect my race track in detail, and found it to be in excellent condition. There was some talk of planting flowers around it, but I have not yet agreed to this plan.

Having tested the outside temperature, wind speed and direction, cloud cover and the firmness of the ground, I determined that the going was good, so I gave permission for my digging pit to be re-opened.

Both Chicken and I thoroughly enjoyed our first foray of the year into my pit. I had quite forgotten how much fun it is. The Fairy made a video which clearly shows my superior digging skills compared to Chicken’s.  Chicken says the parts of the video which show me digging are boring and go on too long, and has suggested that you only watch the parts that she is in.

I disagree.

Monty The Great


Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , , ,

181. Chicken’s Sick Incident – by Monty


Food. It’s important. Greyhounds have a very discerning palette, unlike some dogs who are known to eat anything and everything. People try their best to make mealtimes as interesting as possible, but I say this is unnecessary. Just give us the good quality food we deserve and leave it at that.

The Fairy, for example, likes to hide our food under handfuls of dog food thus forcing us to sort through it and dig for the good stuff. She thinks we enjoy this added challenge whereas we think it just slows the whole process down. Chicken digs around with her nose until she finds the real food, but I have a more efficient method which involves taking the dog food out with my mouth and spitting it on the floor first.

When we eat, we concentrate on our own bowls and there isn’t a problem. When something of high value is involved however, Chicken becomes very possessive and stressed. One day, we managed to acquire a croissant each. I ate mine, but Chicken took hers to her basket and sat on it. She was then unable to leave her basket, for fear that I might steal it. Furthermore, she snapped and barked at me every time I went near her. Fair enough I say, as the croissant was very tempting.

Now let us fast forward to the 18th of February 2017, when The Fairy got it right, and we were given pure chicken for tea. We both ate heartily, but five minutes later, Chicken went out into the garden and vomited the whole lot up. A few seconds later, I decided to go out, and when the door was opened, Chicken pushed passed me and flew out to take up a position just in front of her pile of sick. She then started barking at me, shouting that it was her sick, and therefore I wasn’t allowed to eat it.


Where’s my chicken?

Her possessiveness over high value food even extends to things she has already eaten and subsequently rejected. What on earth made her think I would want to eat the chicken that she had razzed all over the grass? I hasten to add that she didn’t bark at The Fairy when she cleared it up and put it in the bin, so it’s just me that she has a low opinion of. How dare she assume that a thoroughbred of my caliber would eat vomit?

Moral of the story: Don’t come between Chicken and her chicken.

Monty The Great


Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: ,

180. I’m Too Sexy For My Blog – by Monty


I just can’t stop being attractive.

I have been away for quite a while as I have been very busy carrying out my official duties. You will be glad to know that I am back on track now, I’m sure. We have had one or two incidents of concern with regards to injuries, but nothing serious.

1. I had a rather large corn on my front foot, but this has now gone completely, thank goodness.

I had to go through the routine of explaining to Chicken that it wasn’t corn on the cob that I had not shared with her. She didn’t believe me.

2. Chicken got her tail trapped which caused her a lot of pain, though thankfully it wasn’t broken.

The Fairy was very upset as it was her fault and I was quite happy with that situation. Chicken however, also wanted me to take some of the blame, citing my large bottom as being partially responsible. I dispute this entirely.

3. My foot has two rather large cuts on it.

Nobody knows how they got there. They are very painful, but I don’t like to complain. Luckily, my race track is full of soft, wet mud so I can still complete my daily workout.

4. The Chicken’s Sick Incident of 18.02.17.

This requires a full and thorough explanation, so I intend to write a report about it, which I will share with you as soon as.

Monty The Great

Categories: Greyhounds

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