As Prime Ministers, Chicken and I will be leading our exit from Europe. It is imperative that we have a clear direction in mind.
That direction will be North-east.
We had a thorough discussion about the best possible location, and after discounting all and any area which is noisy, have totally committed to taking Britain further north. Just off the coast of Norway to be precise. Chicken was a little reluctant at first, citing concerns over a frostbite epidemic caused by her bikini policy. I reminded her that once she is Prime Minister, she will be expected to perform at least one u-turn. It’s traditional.
Our new neighbour
The decision was based heavily upon information received from The Fairy, who said Norway was beautiful, warm and peaceful. She also said that although it does get very cold in winter, the weather does do what it’s supposed to do. That is to say that when it is supposed to be warm it is warm, and when it is supposed to be cold it is cold. It does not deviate from this. No changing its mind overnight, no surprises, and no showing off by trying to fit in every season of the year into one single day.
I did wonder whether we would be accused of not having really left Europe, as we wouldn’t actually be taking Britain very far. Chicken then put forward the idea that even though we had fully committed to moving next to Norway, we could change our minds at any point.
Indeed we may have to, if Norway complains about us blocking their view of Iceland.
To re-iterate our position then: we are fully and unequivocally committed to leaving Europe and relocating to the North Arctic Ocean and/or the Norwegian Sea.
Unless we change our minds.
Now that is what strong leadership is all about.
Monty The Great