Monthly Archives: May 2021

I appear to have died and gone to Heaven. OUTRAGEOUS! I am outraged. Outraged, I tell you. In addition,I have been placed in a box! HOW DARE YOU!

Granted, there was talk of organ failure and a trip to the vet which necessitated an overnight stay in the hospital, but at no point was my transfer to Heaven discussed with me. There was no public consultation period which I am absolutely sure is a legal requirement. Due process was obviously not followed. There needs to be a Public Enquiry. I have ordered a full report.

As you well know, I am not one to complain, but suffice it to say, St Peter was left in no doubt about my feelings. Interestingly enough, I am in fact very happy to be here. I am in excellent condition and completely pain free. Everything I want, I have.

Including …..

An extra large electric bed with …..

A heat setting of …..

Level 4.

4.

I jest not.

Monty The Great

I love my big bum Monty donty ponty poo head but he has all left me by my alone self. He did get sick all of a suddenly last year and did go to the big horsepit but then he didn’t all come home. I waited by standing looking at the door for weeks and ages and ages but Monty didn’t come through the door ever again.

My tail could not do wagging anymore and one day I did see Monty again and my tail did wagging but it was a black Labra doorstep and he was not Monty so he was stupid. I has friends when I go walking on Rabbit Hill and they is all friendly to me but they is not Monty so they is all stupid as well.

I am sad.

The Fairy is sad.

Everybody is sad.

My big bum Monty donty ponty poo head has left me by my alone self and I am sad.

Chicken 💔💔💔