Monthly Archives: September 2015

6. Planning permission – by Monty

Bob at the council said I have to have an archaeological survey done before any further work can go ahead.

Have decided to employ one with a beard as they look tougher than the others, and to be honest, could probably do with the work.



Categories: Greyhounds, Monty

5. How I conquered Mount Everest – by Monty The Great


imageI have had time to assess yesterday’s activities, and feel that a detailed, accurate account is called for.

Weather conditions were not ideal. A howling wind had built up since the beginning of our walk and darkness was beginning to descend. Finding ourselves stranded at the top of Mt Everest was not what we’d expected. Everybody was panicking so I had to take charge.

Immediately issued instructions which The Fairy followed. Think she was relieved to have me in command. Thought it best to have the less confident ones go first, so kept The Fairy in front of me. Did this on purpose to ensure I was always on the higher ground. Better for checking out the terrain and providing guidance.

Wasn’t easy keeping control of them all. Harder still to keep them calm. The Fairy in particular was flapping and approaching the task too quickly. This is her inexperience showing. It took all my strength to slow the whole party down to a safer speed. Fortunately got everyone down in one piece, to everyone’s relief.

Delivered a full de-briefing before allowing the expedition to continue. Had stern words to say to Big Rabbit who had not followed a single one of my instructions, and had instead treated the whole incident like a walk in the park.


Categories: Greyhounds, Monty

4. Big Rabbit – by Monty


Big Rabbit

We went to the woods yesterday which was super. We met up with Big Rabbit in the car park. The Fairy keeps telling me that she’s a small dog but I know better. To be fair, she does bark a lot but that’s not conclusive evidence as far as I’m concerned. She’s probably quite pretty but it’s hard to get a good look at her because she never stands still.

We came across a really steep bit on our walk and had to walk downhill using these sort of stepping stones. I went first to start with, and we had to go very slowly because it was tricky getting my back legs to follow my front ones. Poor Fairy was very nervous and slow, so I had to change position and walk behind her legs.

For some reason The Fairy was very pleased with me when we got to the bottom and gave me loads of kisses. Apparently it’s very difficult for greyhounds to go downhill on stepping stones and I had managed to come all the way down a massive hill on my first attempt.

Big Rabbit had no trouble at all and actually kept turning around and going back up every few steps. From where I was standing she looked a bit like Fred Estaire dancing on one of his big Hollywood staircases. My professional opinion is that she just lacked direction and didn’t have any idea which way she was supposed to be going.


Categories: Greyhounds, Monty

3. It’s just a hole – by The Fairy


imageDon’t listen to him. He’ll abandon this project when it becomes too much like hard work. Too easily distracted see. My guess is that he’ll find something smelly and forget about it. I’m going to get myself cleaned up ready for our walk with Big Rabbit.


Categories: The Fairy, The help

2. Monty’s Trench – by Monty


imageGood morning! Monty The Great here. I have begun digging out the foundations for a trench which I anticipate will run the whole length of the garden.

The Fairy (that’s the woman who lives in my house) seems pleased. She’s waving her arms about and obviously wants to get involved but she’s not very good at it. She’s kicking the mud back into the hole. Idiot.


Have been onto the council. Apparently I need planning permission for the trench. Will continue with foundations while I’m waiting for their response.

We are going to the woods soon with Big Rabbit. Will let you know how that goes. Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty

1. I’ll be with you in a minute – by Monty

Just having a little nap. Will post important information when I’m ready.


Categories: Greyhounds, Monty

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