22. A busy day – by Monty

The Fairy’s head is a funny shape. It’s a bit lopsided. I hadn’t noticed it before because her fur usually sticks out in all directions. But today it is straight for some reason, which has exposed the lack of symmetry. I’ve had a quick look at Chicken and checked myself in the mirror and we seem to be unaffected. I’m pleased about this as I’d hate to have a big head.

Today has been quite productive. I rang Bob at the Council first thing this morning and explained my theory of illegal fracking compromising the stability of my trench. He agreed that this was indeed a real possibility and suggested (with quite an unnecessary amount of enthusiasm in my opinion) that from now on I should deal exclusively with Simon at the Department of Energy & Climate Change. This suits me fine, as it means I’ll also be able to register my complaint against the very strong winds that have developed over the last few days. I’m presuming that Simon can do something about this, as his job description clearly states he is responsible for the climate.

Chicken has fallen in love with the Liverpool manager, Klopp,  and has decided to develop her football skills in an attempt to impress him. For some inexplicable reason, she thought I would want to do the same. Initially I resisted joining in, but I was driven to distraction by her incessant barking. In a flash of genius, I remembered the age old trick practiced by parents globally, of tiring out young children during the day in order to get them to sleep at night. For this reason I encouraged her to run at full speed around the garden for an extended period of time.

It worked. Silence is golden:



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