Monthly Archives: May 2016

86. The Spy Who Watched Me – by Monty

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Where did this come from?

This morning I awoke to find a strange little being on the patio. I decided not to investigate too closely, as Ugly Cat was sitting on the shed next door and I wanted to talk to him before he ran away. I informed him that I wished to speak to him about his following us on our patrols, and he agreed to a discussion.

I told him that I was the leader of a secret organisation and that his presence on our patrols was unwanted and extremely suspicious. I felt it was only fair to tell him that he was being closely observed and his movements were being monitored by members of my team.

Ugly Cat then astonished me by saying that I was the one being closely observed and monitored by him. Ridiculous! He also said that he wasn’t following us on our patrols, but was instead ahead of us as he already knew our routes. I replied that this was impossible, as our secret routes were known only to the secret members of my secret organisation. He then rather cryptically said that he ‘had his sources.’ 

I warned him not to cross the line where I was concerned, and reminded him that I am a trained professional. He was rude enough to laugh, and asked if I was trained to play in mud. When I demanded that he explain himself, he said that he knew all about the mud heads. I was furious by this time! How could he possibly know about my Mud Head Project? I made it very clear how angry I was and although he shouted that he wasn’t frightened of me, he did run away. The universal language of raised heckles works every time.

I have come to the conclusion that Ugly Cat has spies working for him, so I must make it a priority to identify and eliminate those involved. This is serious business, and must be approached in the most serious manner. Despite this, I tried to speak to Chicken about it, but she had found the little being by then and was busy throwing it in the air and catching it. I left her to it, and retired to my bed to formulate a plan.

Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , ,

85. My Monty Lovely Bum- by Chicken

I has been all angry cross with Ugly Cat because he did all throw an old, rotty fish head in my garden. Monty did say he would tell Ugly Cat off, but I did see him this morning so I did tell him off first. I did tells him that me and big Monty were all going to make mud heads and we is going to make one of him with a big head and a big bottom. He did hiss at me and then went away all huffy and upset.

I did decides to marry Monty again, so I did go to sit with him in his bed and he didn’t gets up so we did sit together. I did tell him that we was getting married, and then he dids get up and go and hide under the table. Then I was sad. Then I did think that I would be all lovely lovely to him from now on and that then he will all wants to marry me.

When we all did go to the lake, a Puggy dog did come and play with him and she did kiss his face so I did say get lost to her. Monty did all say that it wasn’t his fault that everyone loved him and that he couldn’t help being handsome. Then he was all attacked by a mini Yorkshire Terry who did bark at his foot. Monty did just stare at it and did not know what it was. So I did all look after him by pushing in the way of the little doggie.

We did go to visit Big Rabbit and she did teacher me all how to keep cats out the garden. When we all did get home I did have a big sleep and I did dream that Ugly Cats was throwing fish at me, but I did put my tongue out at him all rude. BOOM! BOOM!

Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags:

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