Arky-Ollie-Just and I have commenced a joint project which involves the digging of two trenches. I’m obviously the project manager, having so much experience of trench building, and Arky-Ollie-Just is doing most of the labouring. We are in the process of remodeling the front of my property so that there is space for an additional vehicle. I have no particular preference for how this area will be finished off, as long as it is not gravel like it used to be, which I don’t like to walk on.
I informed Bob at the Council of said project, and he said that although he didn’t believe planning permission were needed, he still felt it prudent to inspect the area. He said he would visit at tea time, and that he would eat with us so that we wouldn’t have to change our tea time. He is so thoughtful.
I’m a little bit confused by Arky-Ollie-Just’s inability to get Chicken’s name correct. He calls her Stand-Still-Chicken all the time. I spoke to The Fairy about Chicken’s name, and asked her to confirm that it had not been changed without my consent. She had also noticed that Arky-Ollie-Just calls her Stand-Still-Chicken, but said it didn’t really matter because Chicken answers to it anyway. I left the kitchen, but was called back almost immediately.
It was at this point, having been pushed out of the way and passed by Chicken, that I realised she also answers to the name Monty. The Fairy and I then conducted an experiment to see if she answers to anything else. She does:
Sweety, doggie, baby, loopy, rainbow, cowboy, trainer, T-shirt, elbow etc. Anything actually, with two syllables.
The Fairy says that she does know her name, and she’s just responding to the tone. It is my considered opinion that Chicken does know her name, and is responding to her stomach. It is quite common for us to receive a snack after being called into the kitchen. I think that when she hears the names Chicken or Monty, she thinks there is food in the offing and makes every effort to get to it before I do. It is also my considered opinion that she has included all other two-syllable words, just in case.
I cannot work out whether she is just a little bit dim, or whether she has unrecognised genius. I also cannot work out which is more dangerous.
Monty The Original