Yesterday afternoon I indicated to The Fairy that I wished to go out on patrol. As per our agreement, she immediately began preparations. The task of putting our coats on is always problematic, due to the fact that Stand Still Chicken will not stand still.
The Fairy took Chicken’s coat off the stairs and eventually managed to tie her into it, despite Chicken jumping up and down. She then did the same with mine, except that I stood completely still with head slightly raised as recommended in the handbook How To Win Yourself A Home And Control Your Humans Once You Get There. The process was still difficult however, as Chicken was still jumping up and inflicting pain with her tail.
We made it to the bottom of the front garden before I realised that there was a serious problem. Hanging beneath me was a floppy white object which was interfering with my stride. In line with military procedure, I stopped dead.
To my absolute horror, a pair of white, ladies unmentionable undergarments was hanging from my coat, stuck to the Velcro.
DO I LOOK LIKE A CLOTHES HORSE TO YOU?
NO, I DO NOT. Hang your pants somewhere else.
I blame Chicken.