The sun has decided to take a more leisurely approach to the day, which I am very pleased about. I was able to conduct my early morning check of the perimeter fence in comfort, and anticipate going out on patrol when I want to, as opposed to waiting until such time as I won’t melt.
Ugly Cat was on the shed next door and struck up a conversation when I had finished my security patrol. Flushed with success at having discovered the site of the proposed mini-fracking, he suggested that the F.A.R.T. attend a demonstration against it, which is going to take place in the next village. He informed me that he could lead us to the demonstration, but that it would take over an hour to walk to, so requested a lift in the car.
Firstly, I reminded him that he had not yet received official notification that he had been accepted into the F.A.R.T., and secondly, that Chicken would be in the car if such a protest were to be attended. He said he would be able to control Chicken, and I said that Chicken couldn’t control herself, and that I’d hate to be present when somebody else tried to. Particularly if that somebody else was a cat, and the location was the interior of a car.
I intend to call a meeting of the F.A.R.T. to discuss the issue of protesting, and Ugly Cat’s request for membership. I mentioned both these points to Chicken, with the exception of Ugly Cat’s proposed membership. For security reasons. Obviously. Not just because I want a quiet life. Which I do.
I sometimes frighten myself with my ability to be correct about everything. It is a burden I have to bear. My meeting with Ugly Cat was very enlightening and has changed my opinion of him. It turns out that he is not just a fluff ball with claws, and he has been able to find out that there is indeed illegal fracking taking place extremely close to my unit.
Now let us not quibble about the details. The fracking might be mini, it may not have started yet, it may not be causing any earthquakes of any description, and it may not technically be illegal, but I WAS RIGHT just the same. My greyhound-sense rivals that of Spider-Man. Call it what you will – and I favour the word genius – but I am obviously capable of predicting the future. With this skill comes great responsibility.
Only the grouting left to do
Luckily, the patio is nearly finished which will protect the garden somewhat, so I now have a smaller area to guard. Pete Who Can Build Anything turned out to be very receptive to my suggestions, and patiently re-did the sections that I inspected with my feet. Once the job is finished, and the garden has been tidied up to the point that it no longer resembles a reclamation yard, I can restart my Mudhead Project.
Along with my new job as Leader of the Opposition, I am going to be very busy over the next few weeks.
This morning Arky-Ollie-Just and I set out early for my trench site. We’d had a pre-dawn meeting to go over all the paperwork and discuss the history of the site. I felt it was important that he was in possession of all the facts before attempting an assessment. He listened carefully as I explained how the trench continued to grow in size despite the fact that I haven’t been near it in weeks. I am incredibly intelligent so don’t normally need any help with anything, but I also recognise when the opinion of an expert might be beneficial.
Arky-Ollie-Just asked to speak to any potential witnesses but The Fairy wasn’t in and I didn’t think anything intelligible could be dragged out of Chicken, so that was a non-starter. He then undertook a thorough inspection and called me over to show me something very interesting. Around the edges of the trench were claw-like scratches and some loose soil could be seen in the surrounding grass. He suggested that an animal of some description has been digging in it.
Because I didn’t wish to offend him, I thanked him for his input and told him that I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend his services to others. The truth however, is that I believe his diagnosis to be incorrect. NOBODY would dare to interfere with my trench without my express permission.
I am more inclined to believe the erosion is a direct result of illegal fracking being carried out somewhere in the immediate vicinity. I intend to mention this to Bob at the Council the next time I speak to him.