97. Chicken’s Special Poo – by Monty

Special Chicken

Almost all of my walks are ruined by Chicken, who refuses to just walk. We can only manage a short distance before we have to stop to allow her to sniff something. She is particularly good at sniffing out discarded food along the alleyway that leads to the field. Last week she ate the remnants of two beef burgers, a baguette and quite a lot of chips. The Fairy tries to stop her and always tells her to drop it, because she is worried it will make her sick. I’m inclined to agree. Why bother eating food off the floor when there is so much available in the house, if only you are willing to put in a little effort.

One thing neither of us eat however, is poo. I seem to remember reading somewhere that this has a name and a reason, but neither of us do it. So imagine our surprise when on the way to the field, Chicken picked up a piece of poo! She dropped it immediately when told to, but picked it up again on the way home. The very same piece! The following day she did exactly the same. Four times she picked it up. The Fairy said there must be something very special about it, as Chicken only picked up that one, and none of the others, of which there are many.

When the same thing happened the following day, The Fairy decided to have a look at it. It was only then, that she realised why it was so special. The special poo was, in fact, a dried rat. I was shocked to find that Chicken showed no sign of embarrassment when this was pointed out to her. Disgraceful. I’m glad she’s not married to me. I would hate to think that a wife of mine would deem it acceptable to pick up dried food from the floor.

Pete is coming over soon to discuss building a patio. Apparently, he is capable of building, erecting, fixing or making anything. I have already drawn up a plan of what I want, so the meeting shouldn’t take long. Dave from the Station wants to be present when it is built in case he can help, (I think he is expecting a sausage sandwich) and Arky-Ollie-Just insisted on being here in case we unearth a stone monument of some description whilst digging the foundations. Chicken is very excited about it, and has already started on the aforementioned foundations.

Monty