The police have been round. By Police, I mean PC Dave from the Station. He said he had spent a stressful two hours trying to persuade the Duty Sergeant not to arrest Chicken for threatening behaviour. He said he was only able to vouch for her as he knew her and her big mouth so well, and under other circumstances she would have been down the Station by now.
Following a very stern talking to, Chicken went off with a bee in her bonnet, and noticeably quieter. There is no excuse for threatening to kick the Police, and Dave and I had a thoroughly engaging conversation about the future of the Police Force.
I came up with a plan of action that will instantly solve the issue of police numbers. It is quite a simple plan really:
STOP COMMITTING CRIME.
Every time someone commits a crime, the police spend hours, days, weeks and sometimes years dealing with it. If people stop committing crimes, then the Police will always have enough officers available to deal with emergencies. I will implement this plan once I am firmly established in Number 10.
On another point, Biker Gove is back on the television for another series, which should prove very entertaining. I have been following the news closely over the last few days, and am shocked to find that another political party is also trying to take my job. There is nothing more exasperating than someone who isn’t the Prime Minister, thinking that he is. UNBELIEVABLE!