229. What Is This Contraption I See Before Me? – by Monty

Over the winter months I always have a good view of my garden. I like to perform a few perimeter checks on foot during the day, but for most of the time a quick glance out of the patio door suffices. In recent weeks however, I have found my view obscured by clothes. I have no idea why people insist on hanging their clothes up in the garden during the summer and can only assume they are displaying them for the neighbours. The neighbours may well appreciate it, but I do not. I have no interest at all in ladies unmentionables flapping about in my line of vision.


Think you’re waterproof? We’ll see.

Not only am I subjected to ladies unmentionables, I now also have to suffer the presence of a large plastic contraption in my garden. The Fairy seems very pleased with it, but I am outraged. When the wind blows, it makes noise. That’s right people – The Fairy has brought a noise-making item into my garden. She spent all yesterday messing about with pots and soil and the watering can. Chicken helped, and the pair of them had a fabulous time.


Who grows soil nowadays?

I remain suspicious, however. The Fairy says it is waterproof but that makes no sense at all. Why would she  want something that prevents me watering the plants? Surely she must recognise this as a design fault. I intend to assess its waterproofing credentials later, as I would hate to have anything in my unit which does not comply with current Trading Standards regulations.


Tomatoes are my specialty.

It also concerned me that she hadn’t applied for planning permission from the Council. I’m in the process of locating the home phone number of Bob from the Council.

I know it’s Sunday, and a Bank Holiday weekend to boot, but I do believe he has a civic duty and will not mind at all if I ring him at dinner time with a legitimate enquiry.


Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , ,

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4 thoughts on “229. What Is This Contraption I See Before Me? – by Monty

  1. Mum has a small one of those but it’s still in the garage. Mum says there’s time enough for that after the gin has run out🐾🐾. Today we bought a new chair for the back patio – which almost didn’t fit in the car. I had to have it over my head in the back. Annoyed? Indeed I was😱😱😱🐾🐾🐾. But a sausage helped smooth my wrinkled brow. Happy seaside wags. Daisydog xxx P.S. Apparently there are ticks about – and I don’t mean homework ones – so I have my lotion potion on. Which mum says is Chanel for greyhounds. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for the tick warning. I will keep a sharp lookout. The Fairy says that you can grow juniper berries in your contraption to make gin with, so you won’t ever have to worry about running out. Who’s getting the new chair: you or your mum?
      Monty 🐾🌻🐾


  2. It’s mums – was £20 in a sale so that leaves some £££ for me and mum on our holibobs later this month.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. When it comes right down to it, M, NOTHING is waterproof. Go get those plants. They can’t grow right without you!

    Love and licks,


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