Chicken’s tenth birthday was on the 19th of July. My tenth birthday was three weeks later. The Fairy forgot Chicken’s birthday. She suddenly realised her mistake a few weeks later, apologised, and promised to have a joint party for both of us on my birthday.
My birthday came and went without acknowledgment. I had cleared my diary for the purpose of celebrating in style, only to find absolutely no evidence at all of any kind of social event, gift giving ceremony or newspaper announcement.
Thank goodness for Arky and Grandma. Arky provided Chicken and I with a stunning selection of steaks. I ate mine – Chicken just sucked hers down all in one go. Chew your food I tell her – you’ll enjoy it more.
Then came the creme de la creme of presents: The Desperate Dan Cow Pie. It also contained pork and green beans. This wonderful invention was delivered to us by Grandma and Grandad. Grandma had baked this pie because she loves us, but also because she felt sorry for us, as the one who takes care of us had completely forgotten.
The Fairy is trying to get back into our good books and has offered an array of excuses, none of which compensate for her total lack of good owner credentials.
I cannot help feeling that I have taken my eye off the ball with regards to on-going owner training. I shall have to start a new training programme, with a view to kicking her back into shape.
Monty The Great