238. Brexit Meeting Results In A Big Step Forward – by Monty

Demand for sandwiches will increase dramatically when we leave Europe

Having scheduled my private Brexit meeting for 7pm last night, I quite rightly ordered refreshments from The Fairy. She agreed to provide food and drink as long as I paid her in advance, which I did.

As 7pm approached I was alerted to the fact that having accepted the contract to provide said refreshments, The Fairy did not, in fact, have any food available. She said she could provide sandwiches and sausage rolls the following day but I decided to recoup my money instead. Needless to say, I was furious.

Some might say it was my own fault for not thoroughly checking her capacity to fulfill the contract, but I would counter by asking: WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD AGREE TO PROVIDE SOMETHING THEY KNEW THEY DIDN’T HAVE? She had no food. I say again people – NO FOOD.

Of my money, there is no trace. On top of that, Chicken was very angry that she had not been given a chance to bid for the refreshments contract and has filed a claim for compensation, citing lost potential earnings.

Despite these distractions, I got my meeting underway on time. I managed to push through a motion to schedule further meetings, which I’m sure you will agree is a big step forward.  Chicken said this decision is non-binding as it was not subject to any consultation process. For goodness’ sake!

Next she’ll be saying that Leave doesn’t actually mean Leave. It’s a good job she’s not in charge of the Brexit negotiations.

Monty The Great