Arky-Ollie-Just

152. The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side – by Monty

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The original foundations

As you may recall, Chicken and I had worked very hard to dig out the foundations of our race track. The whole project had been fully approved by the government, to the best of my knowledge, so I foresaw no problems. Unfortunately, my plans had to be put on hold when Arky-Ollie-Just cordoned off the whole area without offering any explanation. The portable green fencing also denied us entry to my pit, which I was particularly annoyed about.

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Unnecessary portable green fencing

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Overgrown and ruined

This fencing remained in place for just over two weeks, rendering my project behind schedule. In addition to this, the foundations gradually disappeared, ruining all our hard work. When the fencing finally came down, the whole area was a disgrace. It was completely covered in thick, new grass which Arky-Ollie-Just immediately set about cutting. I checked over the whole area for any security breaches, of which there were none.

 

 

I’m pleased to report, that only four days later, the foundations for the race track have been re-done, and the project is now back on schedule, with an estimated completion date of early November. I do believe that both Arky-Ollie-Just and The Fairy were pleasantly surprised at the speed with which we rebuilt our track.

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Right back where we started

Monty

Categories: Arky-Ollie-Just, Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: ,

30. Professional integrity – by Arky-Ollie-Just

In the interests of professional credibility, reputation and of acquiring a job in the future, I would like to disassociate myself from Monty’s ludicrous illegal fracking theory. In no way do I support any of his arguments and I have never said anything to him to suggest that I do. Nor have I found any evidence to support his idea.

I do not want to disassociate myself from Monty himself, because as a greyhound I think he’s wonderful. He’s one of the greatest retired racing greyhounds I’ve ever met. But come on, Monty! Illegal fracking?

IT’S JUST CHICKEN, YOU DUNDERHEAD.

IT’S ALWAYS BEEN JUST CHICKEN.

She’s digging up your garden, mate. Deal with it.

Arky-Ollie-Just

P.S. Put your hand up if you looked up agrostology on the Internet.

A reply from Monty:

‘When a true genius appears in the world, you can know him by this sign; the dunces are all in confederacy against him.’  John Kennedy Toole

Categories: Arky-Ollie-Just, Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , ,

20. It’s not rocket surgery – by Arky-Ollie-Just

I rest my case.

Arky-Ollie-Just

Categories: Arky-Ollie-Just, The help

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