218. Using Your Slow Cooker At Christmas – by Monty



Slow-cooked Chicken 

The best setting for my new electric bed is 3. This is the hottest setting. I have been conducting endurance tests on it, to ensure it complies with all Health and Safety regulations. It does. However, my lying on it for nine hours at a time and the fact that Chicken has abandoned the settee in favour of said electric bed, has drawn the attention of The Fairy.

Today she put her hand under my rib cage and realised how hot I was. According to her, my sleeping on it for nine hours is the same as being stewed in a slow cooker. I see no problem but The Fairy immediately turned it down to 1.

I tried to turn it back up again but could not do so with my paws. There is a design fault in the control pad. Fear not people – I have a plan. I will limp badly until she turns it back up.

1. The hedgehog’s visit has had an unexpected positive impact on the Rudolf apology situation. Chicken was very upset when the hedgehog left, so I used this to explain how upset all the children will be if Father Christmas can’t deliver their presents.

2. Although I may have rather pushed the boundaries of honesty, I also told her that the polar bear had apologised for looking at her in a mean way. It didn’t. It’s made of plastic.

Chicken has responded well and I’m pleased to report that this two pronged approach has secured from her a promise to apologise to Rudolf on Christmas Eve, just in time for Christmas to go ahead as usual.

No thanks necessary.


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4 thoughts on “218. Using Your Slow Cooker At Christmas – by Monty

  1. Poor Monty, only lying on your electric bed for nine hours. I duz lye down on me bed for 12 hours at a time and my mommy worries I’m not warm enough at nite.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve said this before, Paddy – you are a true thoroughbred greyhound. I have amended my testing procedure to include the 12 hour endurance test. I’ll let you know how it goes. Drop some hints about an electric bed. They are brilliant.
      Monty 🐾🎄🐾

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Please do not cook yourselves for Christmas dinner. hat would be BAD. Worse than no Christmas at all! Thank goodness we doggies have no thumbs. Keep that blanket set to 1!!

    Love and licks,

    Liked by 1 person

    • The limping technique worked and the thing is now set to level 2. Not the 3 I had hoped for, but better than the feeble 1. You don’t think roast Chicken is a good idea??
      Monty 🐾🎄🐾


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