234. The Wanderer Returns – by Monty

Crinkle Octopus and myself have had enough. I have had enough of the noise and Crinkle has had enough of the biting. Chicken, on the other hand, cannot get enough of either. I called a meeting today to discuss the return of Ugly Cat but Chicken refused to attend unless Crinkle be allowed to sit in. I’m not convinced that she was giving me her full attention.

Ugly Cat disappeared a while ago and resurfaced months later looking rather worse for wear. He spoke to me in confidence, saying he had been on a secret fact-finding mission to Brussels; his remit being to gather information about what is happening with Brexit. Apparently, he came away a pauper and had to make his own way back home, travelling by night and hunting for his food. This explains his dishevelled appearance and drastic weight loss.

He suggested that he and I form a top secret organisation with the purpose of gathering our own information about what is going on in political circles here. I told him that I would seriously consider it, but that I felt it to be a tall order. If he couldn’t find out what was going on from Brussels, how was he expecting to find out from Downing Street? I’m not even sure that any information exists.

For the time being, I have decided not to tell Chicken about Ugly Cat’s secret mission. She will find it hard enough dealing with the return of Ugly Cat, without adding the additional trauma of Brexit.

At the meeting, I told her that Ugly Cat had been living feral for a long time, but was learning once more to live in a house. I hoped this would result in her showing a little more kindness towards him than she has in the past.

Monty