260. Keeping A Cool Head – by Monty

Chicken’s head has fallen off.

She has had some sort of verbal altercation with Ugly Cat which has left her quite distressed. By which I mean angry.

Best to let her calm down 

I do not mind cats myself and have found Ugly Cat to be generally agreeable and, on occasion, helpful with regards my security work. He doesn’t often come into my garden, preferring to sit on the shed roof next door.

For some reason however, he has decided to associate himself with Ugly Kitten who is still rather small, despite being over a year old. Ugly Kitten does come into my garden – sometimes during daylight hours. Ugly Kitten has not yet acquired any dignity, nor self-control. I do not know what it is that makes him bounce off the fences and ricochet off various obstacles in my garden, but it is a sure way of getting oneself eaten.

To all cats everywhere, and to Ugly Kitten in particular, I offer this advice:

Choose a direction. Just one. Stick to it.

It’s not difficult.

Monty The Great