Chicken

BOOM! BOOM! Chicky, Chicky, chick, chick, chick! I is up!

Big handsome Monty has all been playing with me all of the time and then he did kiss me once so he is my bestest boyfriend again. I is helpering him to dig his big tunnel but it is all a secret because it is a big surprise for him for Valentine’s Day, when I will tell him and he will be all pleased and kiss me again.

The Fairy started her New Year Revolutions yesterday so we is all having to get fit. She did get us two big playing balls but I think she has been ripped off because they don’t work. They all do nothing and The Fairy is pushing them about by hand. I is thinking she needs to get new batteries.

Monty says they are for him to use on his own in the garden, and he is saying they are not toys and they have been invented for weeing on but he misses anyway. The Fairy said we can all play footyball so we all did learn how to do it by watching Liverpool FC on the tellybox at the weekend.

The best bit I did see was Clipperty Klopp running on the pitch at the end. He was all being like me and one day I is marrying him.

It is silly game otherwise, because everybody tries to get rid of the footyball as soon as they get it, and they give it to other people on the pitch but this is silly. If I all gets it I is NEVER giving it to anyone else on purpose, because it’s mine. All toys are mine.

Also, they did forget to move the big baskets before the game did start, and every time the footyball did go near them it got stuck in the net and everybody did all have to stop and wait for someone to get it out. Everybody did shout loudly when this did happen but they still didn’t move them out the way. This did happen nine times!

If I had been a Liverpool supporter I would have demandeded my money back.

Chicken xxx

BOOM! BOOM! Chicky chicky bum.

Monty is all wearing pants at Big Rabbit’s house to stop him weeing in the conversationary room! It is all funny and me and Big Rabbit did laugh and laugh. And then we did laugh again and Big Rabbit did laugh and so did I again and Monty doesn’t know because he is all thicky.

BOOM! BOOM!

Chicken xxx

Communication from Monty: It’s a belt.

Chicky chicky BOOM BOOM seen some snow.

Today it was all coldy cold but we all did still go out. When it got to nearly bed time we told The Fairy that it is time to go out again and I did be her helper when she was putting on her walks boots. Because it was dark and coldy we put on big coats. We has special lights on so we is disguised as lamp posts and can sneak up on cats.

When we got to a dark part of our walk I did decide to do a wee so everybody had to stop. Monty did get all bored so he pushed past me to sniff something smelly. His lead did get caughted under my bum and then I did change my mind and did a poo instead.

The Fairy did see this and pulled his lead but my tail was making it stuck so when it snapped up all quickly, the poo did smack onto Monty’s coat. Then his lead on purpose went on my beautiful coat so I also had poo on as well, and when The Fairy got his lead off my coat she had poo on her hand as well and didn’t cope.

Monty is thicky so didn’t notice anything and I was secretly laughing and The Fairy whined all the way to my house. It is her big job to clean all up when we make mess so she got off the poo and put our coats in the whirly machine and Monty couldn’t get into it because his bottom is too big. Now we has to stay up to wait for the whirly machine to give us our coats back so they can be all dry for tomorrow.

Monty still smellses of wee. BOOM! BOOM!

Chicken

BOOM BOOM! Chicky chicky!

I is loving, loving, loving big hunky Monty. He did try to steal my toys to start with but I has teachered him not to and then I teachered him how to play and we is having loads of fun now. Sometimes he is too sleepy but I help him to wake up by barking and barking and barking. He is loving this and it works because he is now playing when I tell him to.

Yesterday Big Rabbit came to be in my house and she investigated my toy bag but didn’t steal any so we all did not shout at each other. Monty showed me how to get the lovely food from the big table but The Fairy and The Grandparents was too much in the way. He is special good at finding the food that The Fairy has forgotten to put in our dishes. He found bread in a bag and we did take it to the living room and open it all.

I did also teacher him to bark which he didn’t do before. He is good learner and has big, macho voice. He is so big and strong and he is the bestest boyfriend ever. We went to the big seaside today and he did look after me all the way. Chicky chick lovely Monty.

Chicken

BOOM! BOOM!

Chicky chicky chicky, BOOM! BOOM!

BOOM! BOOM!

Chicky chicky, BOOM! BOOM!

Smelly Monty wee foot.

Love and hugs and kisses and cuddles, Chicken xxxxx