Posts Tagged With: Ugly Cat

45. Bad Moon Rising – by Monty

Posted on February 23, 2016 by Mydogslife

I think the full moon is having an effect on Chicken. Last night, for no reason that I could see, she bolted down the garden and threw herself onto the back fence. She then did it again a second time. I was very tempted to go and see what she was doing, but have learnt that there is nothing to gain by trying to understand her behaviour.

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Monty thinking

Yet I fear Chicken is not the only one behaving strangely at the moment. Yesterday morning I awoke early and went out into the garden. Imagine my horror when I found myself looking with disbelief at a seagull. I lie, not. A seagull! In my garden. The nerve of the thing. It took off straight away when it saw me but I cannot believe it had the audacity to land in my garden in the first place. First a garden bird, then pigeons, and now a seagull. What is going on? I’m half expecting there to be an ostrich tomorrow.

We went for a walk last night and a cat jumped out from under a bush, right in front of us. We obviously tried to grab it but as we were out with The Fairy we had attached leads to her to keep her safe, and so couldn’t run as fast as we wanted to. We dragged her along as fast as we could but lost sight of our quarry on a bend. It was only when we were close to home that The Fairy told us to look back. The cat was following us!

I say again: What is going on?

My military training is telling me that some kind of conspiracy is unfolding within my own territory. Let us not forget that I was somehow poisoned a few days ago. There is no telling what will happen next, so I must protect my unit. I hope those responsible for the illegal fracking haven’t found out that I am on to them.

I never expected retirement to be such hard work.

Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: ,

36. Further action needed – by Monty

Posted on February 10, 2016 by Mydogslife

I have been very successful at keeping the birds out of my garden. The brown bird has only appeared once but there have been two unauthorised fence landings by a rather overweight pigeon, which is worrying. In addition to this, a mouse tried to gain entry under the fence, but soon scarpered when it spotted me.

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Information gathering at the local wildlife reserve

I say that I have been very successful, as Chicken is being no help at all. She has gone off at a tangent and is insisting that an ugly cat is targeting her. I have seen no evidence of a cat in my garden, nor do I believe I ever will. The local wildlife has no doubt circulated my photo by now, along with a warning about how formidable I am. I do not anticipate any wildlife related problems at the moment, though I do need to keep my eye on that pigeon.

There is only so much that one dog can do, and I’m in danger of becoming overwhelmed with responsibility. I cannot hold the fort in my back garden at the same time as investigating the illegal fracking, and chasing up the planning permission for my trench. There simply is too much paperwork involved. For this reason, I decided once more to contact Simon at the DECC.

Apparently, his secretary has resigned and left by mutual agreement. I have to say, the office seems to be very efficient, as the new secretary had already been made aware of me, though she used the word ‘warned’ by mistake. She said that Simon was unable to help me unless I had an incident number from the local police. I thanked her for this information and said I would report the illegal fracking to them.

I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before.

Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , ,

35. Trumping competition – by Chicken

Posted on February 8, 2016 by Mydogslife

I is all mad because the ugly cats keeps sitting on my fence and looking at me with a mean face. He wants to come into my house but I is saying he is not coming in because he doesn’t like me. All the time I has to look at the fence in case he is coming to plan a plot against me. I tell Monty that the ugly cats wants to steal my toys but Monty cannot see him because he is slow at looking. He is all saying that I am seeing things but I know that ugly cats is clever at being sneaky.

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Mirror Monty

Today I was all comfy cosy on my own settee on my own. Then The Fairy did come and sit next to me and then big Monty did sit next to her so I did not have my settee to myself alone anymore. Then smelly Monty did trump and he was smelling so The Fairy did get up and all go to sit somewhere else away from the smell. Then I did learn this was a good idea so I did trump and then Monty did get up and go in his basket and The Fairy did go out the room completely to the food kitchen. Monty was sulking because my trump was better than his. So I win.

Then I did all have my own settee back to myself.

Monty has not noticed my good ICT skills with the iPaddy camera yet, but I think he will be very impressed with how betterer I am at using it.

Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags:

34. ICT skills – by Chicken

Posted on February 6, 2016 by Mydogslife
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My second selfie

BOOM! BOOM! Chicky, Chicky, Chicky, BOOM! BOOM!

BOOM! BOOM! Chicky, Chicky, BOOM! BOOM!

The other day in the morning, a big ugly cats did sit on my fence all on itself. I did think straight away that it was ugly and he did have a look on his face all sneaky. He is trying to get in to steal my toys and I is not letting him. I decideded to get him and I all did ask Monty to help me.

Monty was in a good mood so did come to the slidy door to see. I was telling him about the cats which was stealing my toys and he was then in a bad mood and wanted to get the cats. We did make The Fairy open the slidy door and then we did run out all quickly. On the way to the cats we did see some bread on the floor and did all stop to eat it. I had 23 pieces because I is fast at eating but Monty is slow coach so only had 16 pieces so I win.

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Monty Silly Nose

After this I did look all around but the cats was gone away. Monty is such big hero he noticed a little bird and was all worried that the little bird would get catched and eaten by the ugly cat so he did scare it off to save the little birdy’s life. He is so big and strong when he is looking after the little bird so I am marrying  him one day. Monty said he would keep all the birdies safe from now on so the cats can’t get them. He loves all the little birds so does not want them to get catched.

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Monty Big Chin

When Monty was snoring I did use the iPaddy to take photos of him. Monty says I am all never allowed to use it because I has no ICT skills but I have been taking good photos of Monty and he is all handsomeness. I think he will be all pleased when he sees how clever I am with taking photos of him.

Today we is visiting Big Rabbit in the pm so I has to make myself look beautiful.

Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags:

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