Posts Tagged With: Health

93. Sporting Injury – by Monty

Posted on May 21, 2016 by Mydogslife

I have had a rather unfortunate week. I caught my nail whilst out galloping with Chicken in the garden and it bled all over the living room floor. Then I slipped over and scraped my ankle on the pavers during a training session, and took the skin off it. This kept bleeding on and off for a few days so I had to have it bandaged up by Grandma. I have also had some mild stomach problems, but I don’t like to complain.

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Injury No.2

The thing about being ill or injured in my unit, is that you get very well taken care of. Too well, perhaps? I have been cuddled and kissed and fussed over by both of them. In fact, I haven’t had a minute’s peace and if I have to answer the, “Are you alright?” question one more time I think I will explode. They have changed my name to Poorly Monty. How dare they? On top of this, I’m being served dog food! This will continue until my stomach is better apparently. Dog food! Really?

I have received an official complaint about Chicken, from Ugly Cat. He started the conversation by offering his congratulations. I’m not sure which of my accomplishments he was referring to but I accepted anyway. He then said that Chicken had been rude to him, by not thanking him for the gifts which he had left. It turns out that the rotten fish head was his idea of a great present. I have no idea why he would want to give a present to a dog that is always trying to eat him, but each to his own.

I tried to speak to Chicken about it, but for the last few days she has been more distracted than usual. It was impossible to get her attention as she’s constantly singing something to herself and muttering about Arky-Ollie-Just coming home. Also, I don’t want to go too close in case she calls me Poorly Monty again and tries to look after me.

Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , ,

44. Under attack – by Monty

Posted on February 20, 2016 by Mydogslife

I believe I have been poisoned. It is my own fault; I have taken my eye off the ball where the birds are concerned and it has come back to bite me on the bum, so to speak. I knew I should have taken more direct action when I had the chance.

Two pigeons were walking around my garden a few days ago, in blatant violation of my direct orders. Instead of taking direct action myself however, I decided to let Chicken deal with them. She obviously failed in her mission as I believe they were able to plant something in my garden which made me incredibly sick. Chicken has told me that it was my own fault and I’m finding it difficult to disagree. I must be more vigilant from now on.

My plan for revenge had to be put on hold yesterday due to a large number of admirers who turned up. They had obviously come to see me, though Chicken found this hard to believe. She also wanted admiring and the visitors were kind enough to humour her. They liked me best, and were particularly impressed when I tried to protect the children’s health by taking the chocolate biscuits off them. I think they really appreciated my thoughtfulness.

Tomorrow is Sunday so I intend to get up before dawn to lie in wait for the birds. I am anxious to rid my garden of them completely before Bob from the Council turns up to inspect it.  I do not want him thinking that the place is a wildlife reserve, as this may harm my chances of getting planning permission for my trench.

Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , ,

43. Exploding Monty – by Chicken

Posted on February 20, 2016 by Mydogslife

All a few days ago Monty was special naughty and did steal a full cake from the food kitchen. He did eat the whole thing and didn’t share any with me at all. I did all say this was mean.

And then Monty did get exploded dire rear and did all sound like a horse in the garden. I did not sit near him because he was all smelly poo and I did say he all deserved it for being greedy greedy.

Then I did laughs at him.

Chicken

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags:

42. Jealous Monty – by Chicken

Posted on February 18, 2016 by Mydogslife

I was all upset yesterday because I did go on the iPaddy internet and did see that Clipperty Klopp had been in the horsepital. He has all had a pen decided, so is very poorly and I is all going to send him a selfie of me myself to make him feel better. The Fairy did say not to worry because he is all big and strong and did get out the horse pit quickly and is back workering already.

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Clipperty Klopp is betterer now

Monty did get all uppity then and did say that he was all big and strong as well, because he had had a bad footy injury and still did go out for a walks which was very difficult but he did it anyway because he is brave. He also did say that if his pen was broken he would all just get another one because he is cleverer. He also did say that Clipperty Klopp had not been workering and had really just been out all shopping. I did say to stop being jealous and I did love him too, and he did say he wasn’t jealous of someone who only had two legs and no a pen decided, so I did say get lost.

We went for a walks in the sunny shine this morning and Monty did all protect me when the big dogs came so I love him all more than usual now. Then we did meet a dog which could smile and talk! On the way back we did all see some people who looked like people but we’re very tiny small. They did stroke Monty and then I did push in and they did stroke me more. So I win. BOOM! BOOM!

Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: ,

40. Is One Dog With Separation Anxiety Really That Bad? – by The Fairy

Posted on February 16, 2016 by Mydogslife

I think I have managed to cure Chicken of her separation anxiety by giving her a taste of her own medicine. Since she damaged the end of her tail I have been giving her extra cuddles and attention. She loved this to start with, but couldn’t quite understand why I was constantly following her about. Because I didn’t want her to keep hurting herself, and because I’m fed up of washing blood off the walls, I kept trying to hold her tail when she wagged it. (This doesn’t work, by the way. It just makes the bit available for wagging shorter and thus faster.)

After a full day of constant attention, she got up and went to lay on the floor. All by herself. I think I have smothered her separation anxiety out of her. When I went to the toilet I went on my own. When I went in the kitchen I went on my own. When I came down from upstairs, she wasn’t waiting at the foot of them. Obviously I was concerned, so went over to her to see if she was OK. She just sighed, got up and walked over to her bed away from me. I am so anxious about her not being anxious about being separated from me, that I keep going back to her for attention.

My extra attention to Chicken has also had an interesting affect on Monty. He’s now playing all the time with things he knows he shouldn’t be – like my handbag, TV remote and phone – and is attention seeking all the time. He’s being really affectionate as well, and keeps coming for cuddles. He lost control completely when I came in from shopping, and shredded my extra strong, long-handled shopping bag which I had been forced to buy since the 5p fine for carrier bags was introduced.

So to sum up:

  • Chicken’s separation anxiety has been transferred to me.
  • Monty is now attention seeking for the first time.
  • The house is still covered in blood.
  • I have no shopping bag.

I have a niggling feeling that this is a step backwards.

The Fairy

Categories: Greyhounds, The Fairy | Tags:

39. Not Poorly Monty – by Chicken

Posted on February 15, 2016 by Mydogslife

Monty Bum Bum is all jealous of the extra good attention I is getting from The Fairy because I is hurt, so he has all made up his own injury and did start to hop about today. He did say that his foot was hurty but I thinks he is just trying it on.

The Fairy did think he was hurty though, so she did all take care of his foot and did rub it for him and check it for stuck things. He has not got any blood anywhere on him so I win because I has got blood everywhere.

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No tin opener!

Today The Fairy did go out hunting and came back to my house with all food in the bags. Monty is gooder at getting the food from the bags than I is, so he did all attack the bags. We did run into the big room with a bread loaf and The Fairy did all run after us and I did notice that Monty porky pie did have nothing wrong with his foot then. When The Fairy did go back into the food kitchen Monty did steal another food bit from the bag and took it to his big bed. Then he did all sulk like a baby because he all could not eat the food without a tin opener. I did laugh and say he did make a mistakes with choosing the wrong food which he couldn’t eat, and he did say he did not makes a mistakes and was all just saving it for later. Monty Bum Bum pants on fire!

BOOM! BOOM!

Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags:

38. Poorly Chicken – by Monty

Posted on February 14, 2016 by Mydogslife

Yesterday, poor Little Chicken banged her tail so hard on the door that the end of it started to bleed. She didn’t seem to feel any pain though, and continued to wag away with full force. The whole house was sprayed with blood within minutes.

The Fairy took care of her, settled her down and then proceeded to wipe away all the blood. At least, she tried. Grandma was here and she also spent a long time wiping walls but it was a mammoth task. Then just after they’d finished wiping everything, Chicken got excited again about going out and banged her tail so it started to bleed a second time!

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Poorly Chicken 

Everybody was worried about her and they tried to bandage the end of her tail but she just wagged everything off. Her tail is very sleek and thin, but I believe it is made of steel. I have been on the receiving end of it many times, either across the face or on the bottom. I do not know which hurts most. All our visitors have been dealt the same blows and I have personally seen the bruising on The Fairy’s legs and the red welts on her face.

We thought that she might have been better this morning but no. Once again the wagging sent blood spraying all over the house. We tried to stop it but she’s so happy that it was impossible. Now the whole house looks like a crime scene. The Fairy keeps thinking that she’s cleaned it all but every time she looks, she sees more splatters. I did consider ringing Dave at the station to ask him how to clean up blood, but decided against it.

Poor Chicken is now receiving loads of kisses and cuddles and I am being extra nice to her.

It is St. Valentine’s Day, after all.

Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags:

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