Posts Tagged With: Your Rope

107. I Am Office Alley Enraged – by Chicken

Posted on June 24, 2016 by Mydogslife

Yesterday in the day we did all go to vote and me and Monty did burst into the votering hut and frighten the lady and man, and then Monty did change his mind and did drag us outside again. The Fairy tried to makes him go inside again but he did say there was something important outside that he had to inspect. Two lovely ladies did stand with him outside and me and The Fairy did go back in to do the voting. When I did wake up this morning, Monty did all tell me that we is leaving Your Rope.

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My enragement collar

I did say straight away that we had to go shoppering because I did need a bikini for when Britain moves to Panama, but Monty did say that we hadn’t decidered where to go because he hadn’t spoken to the government yet. But he did say that he had all asked The Fairy to buy a present for me from him, and I did get all excited.

The Fairy did just get back and I has got the bestest ever brand new collar! It is a special enragement collar from my Monty because it all has real loads of diamonds on it. Monty did get himself one as well and I did think that everybody will now all know that I am his fancy. I did jumps and running in the garden and then did sit with Monty on the settee. Today I is office alley enraged, and office alley happy happy.

I all does love my lovely, bubbly Monty bum bum!

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Me and my Monty 

Happy Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags:

106. The Big Day – by Monty

Posted on June 23, 2016 by Mydogslife

Yesterday, work started on the garden.

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Job 1

Job 1  Fill in the holes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Job 2 

 

 

Job 2  Empty the holes to check whether they had been filled correctly in the first place. (They had.)

 

 

 

Job 3  Move the wood from one part of the garden to another.

I can’t work out whether The Fairy has actually built something, or whether she’s just made the effort to pile the wood up neatly. When I asked her she said it was a surprise. Ugly Cat said it was a raised bed, but Chicken said he was an idiot because a raised bed is known as a settee, and is always in the living room. The Fairy said it was not for plants, which leads me to believe it is a containment area for some kind of animal.

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Job 3: Sloth enclosure?

We already have a rabbit, albeit an elusive one, and now I fear I am being asked to accommodate yet more wildlife. Chicken is hoping it will be a kangaroo so they can have jumpy jumping competitions, but I said a kangaroo could easily jump out of the structure, thus rendering it useless. It is more likely to be an animal that cannot jump, such as a sloth. Chicken said a sloth would be boring, but I said it would be a nice change from a hyperactive frog. She then went off to look for said frog, having totally misunderstood the meaning of my words.

 

 

 

 

TODAY IS THE BIG DAY

We are all going off to vote soon. I have decided to attend to mark the importance of the event, despite the fact that I have been discriminated against vis-a-vis eligibility to vote. I may or may not register my disgust at this situation. I don’t ordinarily take part in demonstrations, but there is an outside chance that I will wee in the hut by way of protest.

Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , , ,

103. To Be Or Not To Be ….. In Your Rope – by Chicken

Posted on June 11, 2016 by Mydogslife

When we did have the sausages, the sausages were lovely bubbly but we did have to wait for them to go coldy. Monty did talking about going on a F.A.R.T. mission so I is all excited. Then everyone was all talkering about the Your Rope vote so I did go to do the digging.

Monty did then go on the iPaddy to register to vote, and did all realise that he all wasn’t allowed to, because he is a greyhound and then his head did fall off. He did shout and shout and did say that he had four legs and peoples only had two, so he did think he should have more votes than people, not less. He said it was the mostest importantest thing to happen in his lifetime and it is all disgraceful. I did know that our wedding is the mostest importantest thing, so I am going to kick him in the head when I gets time. Then I dids say that votering was silly, and Monty’s head did fall off again.

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Listening to Monty 

He did stomp up and down yelling about the Surfer Jets, who did all loads of big fighting to gets the vote for women. He did say that I should thank them by always always usering my vote because they was all so brave. He did say that everybody should use their vote because we is all very lucky lucky to have one. I did remind him that greyhounds didn’t all have one, and then he dids say that he was going to be a Surfer Jet for greyhounds. I dids say that he didn’t have time before the big vote, but he did say that he would do it anyways, because ifs we leaves Your Rope, we will all have to vote on where we will go.

I did then say that it wouldn’t make a difference anyway, because the Polly Ticks People on the tellybox said so. Monty did say that I didn’t all understand it and I did say that I all did understand it and Monty did say prove it.

So I did say that it was all very clear, and we is all doomed. Ifs we vote to stay in Your Rope nothing will go right, and ifs we vote to leave Your Rope everything will go wrong. If we believe the big Polly Ticks People, Britain is all about to just blow away in the wind or sink into the sea.

Monty did just stand and stare at me for a bit and then did start talkering again, quickerer and loudier than normal. Then I dids find out that I all wasn’t listening to him anymore anyway, because I dids find out that I wasn’t interested. So Monty did keep gibbering on about Your Rope, and I did fall asleep. BOOM! BOOM!

Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: ,

91. Your Rope He’s On Songing Competition – by Chicken

Posted on May 15, 2016 by Mydogslife

Last night in the very late at the night time, we did stay up late to watcher the Your Rope He’s On Songing Competition. The Fairy did falls asleep for a bits and then did wakes up again for the results of the big votering. I did gets some gooder ideas for my wedding dress, and Monty did watcher it because it is ‘culturally important.’

Halfs way through, big Monty did nearly have a heart attack because he all did realise that ifs we leave Your Rope, we all will not be allowed to do the songing competition again. He did say this was ‘incomprehensible’ and then I did say stop using big words. Bum.

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Thinking about his song

I did tells him that it would be OK because Australia was allowed to be in it and they was all far far away so Britain could be in it forever because we is close. Monty did say that Australia had a special inviteration and Britain might not be allowed in ifs we purposely choose to leaves. He did say that the big econ mists tell people that money holds Your Rope together, but really it is the Your Rope He’s On Songing Competition. He did say that if the songing competition breaks down, all the Your Rope’s countries will drift off in different directions and would end ups in the sea somewhere far aways.

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Thinking about my cakes

Monty did say he was all going to write to Graham Norton because he is in charge of the competition, and tell him to keep Britain in it before something bad happens. He then had the bestest, brilliant, goodest idea and did say he was all going to write a song and be in the competition next year. He did say that Arky-Ollie-Just would play the guitar and that Bob, Dave and me could be the baking singers. I did think this was a good idea and did say I would bake some cakes to take with us.

I did say he could write a song about doing the wees but Monty did say he was writing it about ‘the need for co-operation and tolerance in the field of political and financial associations with a view to advancing unity and stability within an ever-changing world.’ 

I is going to writes my own wee song in case his is rubbish.

Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags:

70. Tax Evasion By Chicken – by Monty

Posted on April 6, 2016 by Mydogslife

Chicken has decided to stash all her toys in an off-shore investment fund in Panama. She has heard on the news that this is where people can keep things safely hidden from the government, and by extension, Ugly Cat.

She has been unsettled since her recent altercation with Ugly Cat, and is convinced that he will take her toys. I reassured her that the cat wasn’t ever going to take her things, but she remained unconvinced. I tried to calm her down by promising to protect her property, but she wouldn’t shut up about finding the best hiding place. In the end, I had to ring Simon from the DECC to get some further information.

I asked Simon if it were true that Panama is the best place to hide things. I think he must be very busy at the moment, as he had forgotten who I am, asking if I was some kind of comedian. He then went on to say that he had nothing to say on the matter. Total waste of time.

Later today I am going to contact Grandad, with a view to setting up a meeting with him to discuss the construction of a safe box for Chicken to use. I anticipate this being quite an interesting project.

Panama has been added to my list of possible locations to move Britain to, in the event of us having to leave Your Rope. It’s a beautiful part of the world, and we’d be closer to our tax revenue, should we ever need it.

Monty

 

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , ,

54. Leaving Your Rope – by Chicken

Posted on March 11, 2016 by Mydogslife

It is all summertime today so we did eats our breakfast in the big garden in the sunny shine. After breakfast I did want Monty to play with me but he said he had to all watch a polly ticks show on TV about staying in or leaving Your Rope. I did say that I didn’t want his rope because my rope was all betterer, and he did say that Your Rope was the place where we is, and not rope at all. Which is silly.

I does not understand why we are decidering whether to leave or not because I does like the place where we live. Monty did say that we will know in June ifs we has to leave. I did asks where would we go ifs we has to leave, and Monty did say he has already thought about that. He is always thinking cleverer things.

Monty says ifs we go north it will be all coldy, but ifs we moved to the side of New Zealand the weather might be all nearly the same. I did say we should go somewhere warmer and he did say we could go to the States of the United Americans because it is warmer and they all have loads of goody food.

I did want to stay in my house though, and Monty said we will move the whole of Britain so we can all stay here but be at the other side of the world as well. Then he did say that he would spend some time all looking at the atlas to check for alternative places, and ifs we has to leave Your Rope he will already have a “list of possible locations to discuss with Simon at the DECC.”

I did say that I would help him and we all started looking but then Post Patty did come and Monty did stop looking so he could all go and open the box.

Chicken

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: ,

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