Posts Tagged With: Wildlife

109. Who’s Laughing Now? – by Monty

Posted on June 26, 2016 by Mydogslife

Bob laughed at me, PC Dave laughed at me, Pete laughed at me, Grandma laughed at me, Grandad laughed at me, Sister laughed at me, The Fairy laughed at me and Arky-Ollie-Just laughed at me most of all. Why? Because I insisted there was a rabbit in that hutch and they thought it was funny that I spent so much time staring into it.

But I did not let it affect my self-confidence. It’s all about having the courage of your own convictions. Build it, as they say, and it will come.

The Fairy moved the hutch into the middle of the garden yesterday, and by the evening the rabbit had decided to come out of hiding and show itself. I KNEW I WAS RIGHT. I absolutely knew I was right again. We have a rabbit.

Granted, it is not a very active rabbit. In fact, it hasn’t moved an inch since it first appeared. It doesn’t seem to need water or food or hay, it doesn’t respond to being poked, and doesn’t even need to blink. But it’s a rabbit, and it’s there.

So to coin a phrase: I win.

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Am I right, or am I right?

Monty The Correct

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: ,

106. The Big Day – by Monty

Posted on June 23, 2016 by Mydogslife

Yesterday, work started on the garden.

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Job 1

Job 1  Fill in the holes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Job 2 

 

 

Job 2  Empty the holes to check whether they had been filled correctly in the first place. (They had.)

 

 

 

Job 3  Move the wood from one part of the garden to another.

I can’t work out whether The Fairy has actually built something, or whether she’s just made the effort to pile the wood up neatly. When I asked her she said it was a surprise. Ugly Cat said it was a raised bed, but Chicken said he was an idiot because a raised bed is known as a settee, and is always in the living room. The Fairy said it was not for plants, which leads me to believe it is a containment area for some kind of animal.

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Job 3: Sloth enclosure?

We already have a rabbit, albeit an elusive one, and now I fear I am being asked to accommodate yet more wildlife. Chicken is hoping it will be a kangaroo so they can have jumpy jumping competitions, but I said a kangaroo could easily jump out of the structure, thus rendering it useless. It is more likely to be an animal that cannot jump, such as a sloth. Chicken said a sloth would be boring, but I said it would be a nice change from a hyperactive frog. She then went off to look for said frog, having totally misunderstood the meaning of my words.

 

 

 

 

TODAY IS THE BIG DAY

We are all going off to vote soon. I have decided to attend to mark the importance of the event, despite the fact that I have been discriminated against vis-a-vis eligibility to vote. I may or may not register my disgust at this situation. I don’t ordinarily take part in demonstrations, but there is an outside chance that I will wee in the hut by way of protest.

Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , , ,

105. About Time – by Monty

Posted on June 22, 2016 by Mydogslife

I will be the first to admit that I never rush into things. Prior Preparation and Planning is my mantra, and this process should never be rushed. Further to this, it is essential that all Health and Safety issues be addressed and any elements of potential danger be assessed properly before proceeding with any activity. This includes such activities as going out into the garden, or getting out of the car. You can never be too careful.

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Before

You can, however, be painfully slow, as I have found out since taking up residency in my forever home. One of the reasons I chose to live with The Fairy is that I like a challenge. There appeared to be a lot of work to do in the house and garden, and The Fairy was obviously in need of a good project manager.

Much to my disgust, every project that I have put forward has been scuppered or postponed. My Trench Building Project was stopped by Bob at the Council, and my Mud Head Project has yet to see the light of day. The wildlife exclusion zone which incorporated the whole of my garden, has been breached with the help of The Fairy, who constantly entices wildlife in with food. Sink holes have appeared, and grass has disappeared, due to the illegal fracking activity in the area.

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Waiting to be planted

So you can imagine my excitement when it was announced that finally, work could get underway. Pete Who Can Build Anything is coming in a couple of weeks to lay the patio, and plants and shrubs have appeared in the garden, ready to be planted. A large pile of wood has been delivered, but there are no accompanying plans, so I can only guess what is to become of that. Most interestingly, we now own a large rabbit hutch.

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It can’t hide forever

The Fairy insists that we are not getting a rabbit, much to Chicken’s disappointment, but I am absolutely convinced there is one in there already. Every time I go into the garden, I go to check for it.  My record for staring at the hutch, stands at seven minutes. I can be incredibly persistent when the occasion calls for it, and the rabbit cannot hide forever.

The garden refurbishment is finally getting underway.

About time.

Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , , , , ,

96. Wildlife Roundup – by Monty

Posted on May 28, 2016 by Mydogslife

Yesterday I was head-butted by a cat. It was a grey tabby, who I had met once before last August. The first time I saw it, it ran across the road to me and sprawled on the pavement on its back. The Fairy said it was being friendly and probably lives with a dog. Last night, it was sitting in the middle of the pavement and we all assumed that it would move when we came closer. It didn’t. It waited until we were very close, and then ran at me.

I was taken off guard, and it was out of range within a split second. Chicken launched herself at it, but couldn’t get to it because I was in the way. We were both on high alert for the rest of the walk, and did actually see a further four cats. There really are too many cats on my estate if you ask me. Ugly Cat has not been seen for days. I don’t know whether this is a good thing or a bad sign.

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Do we look spoilt to you?

We have taken to walking a lot up the hill, through the woods. At the top of the hill there is a lovely view, and a wide open expanse of heathland. All the way up and down the hill, are baby rabbits. At the moment there appear to be hundreds, but I doubt there will be more than one or two left in a couple of weeks. A few hopped off when they heard us coming, but most of them just sat there, even the ones on the path. Chicken said they were ‘thicky thick thick,’ but I am more inclined to believe that they are just lazy, and have only read the first section of The Freeze, Flight or Fight Manual. This illustrates very clearly, the importance of children completing all their homework. If they only do a little bit of it, there is every possibility that they will get eaten by a crow.

The Fairy has bought us a sheep each. I have never met one which is alive, but if the dead ones are anything to go by, I think I may have found a species of wildlife that I actually like.

Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: ,

75. You Should Never Joke About Security – by Monty

Posted on April 16, 2016 by Mydogslife

I was out on patrol with my unit last night, when we happened upon what we initially thought was a barbecue. There was a bright light on in a back garden, smoke rising and a voice speaking. We were told in no uncertain terms: YOU ARE BEING RECORDED ON A CCTV CAMERA. YOU ARE BEING RECORDED ON A CCTV CAMERA.

The Fairy was quite confused, but I was able to explain the whole scene to her due to my superior knowledge of security issues. The owner of the property had obviously obtained a rather advanced security system. I believe it was being tested as we passed by, or had at least been triggered accidentally by some sort of intruder/animal. The light was extremely bright, highlighting the smoke coming from the kitchen fan. Everybody was relieved to hear my explanation, as they were beginning to show signs of panic. The Fairy continued to laugh hysterically until we got home.

This incident made me think about the security at my own property, so this morning I contacted Dave at the Station to discuss it with him. He was more than willing to come round for a meeting, especially when he was promised a slice of cake and a cup of tea. He said that he wished everybody took home security as seriously as me, and that he would consider my kind offer to provide an information and training session for the public.

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Suspect number 1

We discussed the feasibility of installing floodlights and a camera, though he was less enthusiastic about the electric fence and man-trap ideas that I put forward. At this point The Fairy joined us, disclosing that somewhere in the house was a trail camera. These are activated by movement and are usually used to capture videos of nocturnal wildlife. The Fairy said she had used it in the past and had caught mice, cats, hedgehogs and a weasel on it. This has really sparked my interest and I have insisted that she find it so that I can set it up in the garden, my main target being the hedgehogs.

Dave then stated that the chances of a hedgehog breaking into the house were quite remote, and that he had not seen any this year anyway, even when on night duty. This led to quite a heated discussion about the potential damage a hedgehog could cause. Dave disputed my assertion that hedgehogs were responsible for more damage to mud heads than all other species of animals put together. So I threw him out. I made it very clear that I expected a more co-operative attitude from him when we embark on our first F.A.R.T. patrol.

He left in a bit of a mood, but not – I hasten to add – until he had collected another slice of cake from The Fairy.

Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , , ,

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