Please people, get enough sleep. It’s important.
Please people, get enough sleep. It’s important.
I was planning on declaring a Severe Hot Weather Warning, but it was too hot. I heard that government departments had been re-shuffled and I cannot quite work out what has happened to the Department of Energy and Climate Change. If it has been abolished, that would fully explain why the sun now thinks it can do whatever it wants. In my opinion, the sun needs to reign in its enthusiasm.
Big Rabbit came to spend the day with us, and we all had a great day inside, drinking cold water and keeping very still. Chicken and Big Rabbit had a long conversation about cats, which I didn’t get involved in. Chicken now feels she is armed with a lot of useful information about keeping cats out of the garden. Big Rabbit has a Doctorate in Cat Detection and Expulsion. She went home after tea, but for some inexplicable reason, left half of her hair here. It is too hot to work out why.
Yesterday was an excellent day. Arky-Ollie-Just turned up and we were all extremely happy to see him. He let me wear his special hat, so I believe I am his favourite. I took him into my back garden to discuss the patio and to show him some of the work that I had been doing. We lasted about 30 seconds and then came back inside to sit by the fans. About half an hour after he arrived, he spilt half a tin of red paint on the carpet. On the plus side, he has shown an interest in my long forgotten Trench Building Project, which he says we can revitalise.
I spent most of the day in conversation with him, and taught him how to give Chicken and I treats. I explained the rules of the house and when it was nearly dark, took him out to show him around the estate. Grey Cat showed up, which sent Chicken into a spin.
I’m not quite sure how Arky-Ollie-Just fits into the household. The Fairy is in charge, but Arky-Ollie-Just is bigger. I will have to watch closely over the next few days to assess this situation. It may mean that our unit is going to experience a re-shuffle. I hope the Department of Sausages and Steak survives.
We is all bumpy excited because last night The Fairy did tell us a goody bedtime story. She did tell us that Arky had been to his gradually station and did wear a big gown and funny hat and it did all look like Hogwarts. Then she did say that he was all coming to live in my house so we is all having to tidy up. Monty did say it would be good to have another man in the house and I did say, where is the first one? BOOM! BOOM!
My house is going to be busy bee busy, because Big Rabbit is coming to see us today. We cannot go out for big walks later because it is all too hotty hot, hot hot. We does have a paddling pool and fans so it is a bit betterer. Monty did say all the fans were his.
Today this morning very early before the hotty hot, we did go for a walk. Stupid Grey Cat did run out to see Monty again. She always runs to see him and does throw herself on the floor in fronts of him. I did say I would get Grey Cat, but Monty did say she was just friendly and it was no surprise that she liked him. So I did say ifs he likes her so much, he should just marry her. Then he did say that might be a goody idea because she is all quiet.
So then on the way home in the very early this morning, I did tell Monty a night mayor bedtime story:
Once upon a in the long ago, a big handsome dog who was thicky, did meet a stupid cat. Then the stupid dog did make friends with the stupid cat and let the stupid cat be all in his house with him. Then they did go to bed and in the morning, Monty couldn’t walk because in the night time the smelly stupid cat had chewed all his legs off. THE END
Monty did say I was being silly billy but I did warn him about the cats and then I did say, don’t say I didn’t warn you. When Big Rabbit comes I is going to tell her about smelly Grey Cat.
Bossy Boots Monty did all think he could tells me what to do so I did say no chance Bossy Monty, you is not the bossy boss of me! I did decides to get my own back.
Then we did go to Grandad and Grandma’s and Monty did go to sleep on the big greyhound bed. Then he did start to dream and I did say to Big Rabbit that he does dream like a girl and then she did laugh and I did laugh because Monty does dream like a girly girl. BOOM! BOOM!
We has all been on holibobs for some days to Grandma and Grandad’s house. I all did have to go to tells Big Rabbit that me and Monty is all enraged. Me and Big Rabbit did all talk about what we is going to wear and Big Rabbit did say that she needed a new hat. I is all so excited because now I is Monty’s fancy. We did get loads of extra sausages and cakes and cuddles at Grandma and Grandad’s house and did go out together with Big Rabbit.
We dids get home yesterday in the afternoon and all inspectored the house and garden to make sure everything is all safe. Monty did think that dangerous hedgehogs had been in the garden so checked all inches of it. When we did go for a walks it was all rainy wet so we did put our big coats on and big Monty did complain all the way. I did see Ugly Cats following us again so I was all mad.
This morning in the very early, I did go out but Monty did not go out because it was all still raining. Ugly Cats was sitting all ugly on the shed next door, so I did go to shout at him. He did say that I still hadn’t said thank you and I did say I had nothing to say thank you for and he did say he was hurt. Then he did say he had missed us and I did say that we had been to see Big Rabbit and talk about the enragement but that Ugly Cats wasn’t allowed to know because he wasn’t coming to the wedding and he did say he was even more hurt and I did say good. Ugly Cats did all look sad and did walk away sadly and then I did see my biggest trench so did go to do digging in it.
The Fairy did say that I all wasn’t allowed to bring the muddy mud into the house and did try to pull my feets off with a towel. Then Monty hero did save me by takings the big towel off The Fairy and running around with it. The Fairy did say she was all wanting to go backs to bed.
Big Rabbit has had cosmetic surgery on her ears. I thought she looked OK to start with, but I can see that she is pleased with the results which is all that matters. Chicken is all excited about this development, and has suggested that I also have some ‘work done.’ As I explained however, there is very little that can be done to improve me.
I was intending to take my unit out on a reconnaissance mission, but it is raining. I don’t want to lead them out in it. It might be dangerous.