Posts Tagged With: The Watch

160. Hello Weeing And The Witch’s Ugly Cat – by Chicken

Posted on November 2, 2016 by Mydogslife

WEEEEEEEEEEING! HELLO WEEEEEEEEEEEING!

Hello Weeing was boring silly boring. Foxy did go everywhere and do weeing because he is trying to tell big Monty that he is the boss, but Monty can do better wees.

I did go outs with The Fairy in the night time walk a few days ago and Foxy did see me and did say that it was all his estate but I did say that Monty was in charge because Monty does do The Watch but Foxy did say, “Where is he then?”

So I did say that he was all doing big planning at home and he is very busy doing big planning at home. Foxy did say that he was taking over and I did say he was too little and couldn’t do anything. But then on Hello Weeing night Foxy did weeing everywhere and he is stinky smelly stink bum.

Ugly Cats did follow me and The Fairy, and did say that Monty did have to take charge again or all the cats would take charge but I did say they couldn’t take charge because they is all ugly. Then Ugly Cats did say that I did have to be a pilot to him because he had special magic powers on Hello Weeing night because he is a witch’s cat and he did say that he could all turn me into a frog or make my nose drop off. I did say get lost.

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Chicken Frog

Then back at home I did tell Monty that Foxy did weeing everywhere and that Ugly Cats had turned me into a froggy frog but Monty did say I still did look like a beautiful greyhound to him. But then The Fairy did say, “Stand still, Chicken! You’re jumping about like a frog.”

Now I does have to eats Ugly Cats to break the spell.

Chicken

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: , , , ,

159. Poxy Foxy – by Chicken

Posted on October 25, 2016 by Mydogslife

BOOM! BOOM! Chicky, Chicky!

Chicky, Chicky, BOOM BOOM!

BOOM! BOOM! Chicky, Chicky, BOOM! BOOM!

Then I did go out for a walk in the late dark with The Fairy and I did wear my coat because it is all coldy cold at the night time now. Monty bum bum wee wee foot did only come with us to the end of my street because then he did say he did have to all go home because he was busy but I does know he is scaredy bum. When we did get near the big road, I did see the stupid poxy foxy in the field.

Then in the suddenly, Ugly Cats did jump up on the big fence and follow us. He did say that the smelly fox was looking for things to eat in the field and that I did all have to be careful because the fox would eats me. Then I did shout at Ugly Cats because he is stupid and I did say that I was not scared of the poxy foxy and that I could eats him and then I could eats Ugly Cats as well.

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Researching Hello Weeing

Ugly Cats did say that I should calms down because we is on the same side of The Watch, but I did say that I was only on Monty’s side and we didn’t need him. He then did say that Foxy was doing big horrible planning for a big bad night of weeing so I did go home to my house quickly and tell Monty abouts it.

I did say that Ugly Cats did say he could eats me and then I did say that Foxy was doing a Hello Weeing plan, and Monty did say he would all do some research.

I is not scared of any silly Hello Weeing night!

Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: , ,

149. Questions Arise Over Integrity Of The Watch

Posted on September 18, 2016 by Mydogslife

ALLEGATIONS OF IMPROPRIETY ROCK VIGILANTE GROUP 

Amid rumours of internal conflict, backbiting and weak leadership, a newly formed vigilante group is today reeling from a fresh scandal involving the group’s Public Relations Officer.

The Watch, which is the first known official collaboration of its kind between cats and dogs, was rocked by controversy only days into its existence, when the group’s leader inexplicably withdrew from public view. Whilst an insider insisted that he was fully engaged in talks, others within the organisation expressed their dissatisfaction at his apparent lack of operational activity.

To add to the leader’s woes, one of his closest advisers has now been implicated in a scandal involving men’s unmentionables. Secret filming provided by an undisclosed source, appears to show the Public Relations Officer openly staring at these unmentionables, bringing the organisation’s moral standards into question.

When asked to comment on the footage, the PRO claimed that she was simply on guard duty, and was not aware at the time of any unmentionables being present. She added, “Bum, bum, bum, bum,” before springing off into the distance, in pursuit of what she insisted were pink hedgehogs.

It remains to be seen whether The Watch can survive this latest allegation, or whether the group will split into its two very different, cat and dog camps.

Categories: Greyhounds | Tags:

147. If Only You Could See What I See – by Monty

Posted on September 12, 2016 by Mydogslife
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Waiting for the ban to be lifted

There’s a pink hedgehog in my garden. It’s a hedgehog, and it’s pink. I have put in a request for night vision goggles.

Chicken intimated that I was seeing things, but The Fairy was with me and she also saw it. My pink hedgehog.

I am now back in the house but The Fairy has said that I can go out soon because my foot is better and the seven day ban on having fun of any kind is over.

Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , ,

146. Press Release 2 – by Chicken

Posted on September 11, 2016 by Mydogslife

THE WATCH INEFFECTIVE AS LEADER SUFFERS FROM CABIN FEVER

The foxy fox is still all on the estate and the little animals is all still worried because Monty McDonty is not doing any plans with  Ugly Face Cats, because he is not allowed out.

Monty McDonty is sad and annoyed when he doesn’t all go for walks, and he doesn’t all want anyone to know that he is not doing the patrols. He did say it was bad for more arm.

I did say it was bad for his arm as well. BOOM! BOOM!

He is beginnering to mutter to himself and does spend too much time in his office. I did try to keep his more arm up by telling him that I was bestest at catching foxes anyways, so I could all do the job, but this just made him worse.

I does think that he is suffering from cabin fever, but he did say he was not hotty hot, and that he didn’t all live in a cabin. Then he did go to talks to the tomatoes.

By Stand-Still-Chicken 

Public Relations Officer 

The Neighbours Hooded Wildlife Animal Fox Watch

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: , , ,

142. First Meeting Of The Watch – by Monty

Posted on September 6, 2016 by Mydogslife

The first meeting of The Watch was well attended. I believe Ugly Cat must have informed everyone of the time and venue, as I know that I didn’t say a word. We had the meeting at dusk so that the nocturnal animals could partake.

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A mole in the pit

It appears that many of them are afraid that the fox may eat them, and feel that it requires removal from the area. Those present included pigeons, magpies, garden birds, bats, frogs, spiders, a mole which surfaced in my digging pit and – against my advice – the hedgehog.

Chicken displayed a level of wisdom I had not expected, by suggesting that the birds sleep high up out of its reach, and the rest of them hide. The spiders were deemed not to be in too much danger, but chose to stay anyway, out of civic duty.

The hedgehog seems to be the most at risk, so I suggested he employ his arsenal of spikes to protect himself. He then said that I was useless, which prompted a rather severe reaction from Chicken. He was only saved by the quick thinking of The Fairy, who disrupted the meeting, saying it was too late to have friends round to play.

Ugly Cat insisted that the fox needed relocating, to allow the “present system of management to remain in place.” I’ll admit to being a little suspicious of this comment. My military training tells me there is more to the situation than is being discussed openly, a sentiment which I shared with Chicken.

She is now on the Internet, researching conspiracy theories.

Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , , , ,

140. Press Release 1 – by Chicken

Posted on August 30, 2016 by Mydogslife

SECRET ORGAN EYE STATION ORGAN EYED IN SECRET

Monty McDonty and Ugly Face Cats has all made a secret organ eye station called The Neighbours Hooded Wildlife Animal Watch. They did do it all in a secret at my house in secret. I is the most importance because I does have to deal with all the peoples and all the wildlife and all the press.

We is going to do plans tonights in the night time and the fox does have to look out and then Monty did not share the roll sausage in a bag. Bum.

It is all secret so nobody is allowed to know what is happening tonight when the wildlife with the hoods is coming to my house to do plans. The end.

By Stand-Still-Chicken 

Public Relations Officer

The Hooded Neighbours Wildlife Fox Animal Watch Hood

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: , , , ,

139. The Wildlife Watch – by Monty

Posted on August 30, 2016 by Mydogslife

Chicken has insisted that we perform a closing ceremony for our Independent Olympic Games, so I have spent some time choreographing a routine which we are now rehearsing on a daily basis. There is still a second Games to come, but my suggestion that we continue with our games has met with opposition, due to the fact that Chicken thinks she has won and doesn’t want to risk me catching up with regards medals awarded. The Fairy has also implied that she would like us to perform the ceremony as quickly as possible, to avoid further damage to my garden.

I have spent quite a lot of time in my office recently, which is located under the dining table. I’m in the process of planning some secret operational manouvers, which are in part a result of a meeting which I had with Ugly Cat.

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The Watch

Ugly Cat informed me that a fox has been sighted on the estate late at night, and that the local wildlife are extremely concerned about this. After giving the situation some thought, I suggested forming a Wildlife Neighbourhood Watch. Ugly Cat volunteered to lead the Wildlife Watch, but I recommended installing a more experienced officer to the post, citing my own credentials. This was only agreed upon, after Ugly Cat was appointed as Second In Command.

Chicken’s first suggestion that she eat all vulnerable wildlife to sabotage the fox’s plans was rejected on the grounds that it was rather at odds with the aims of The Wildlife Watch. She then demanded she be given the position of Public Relations Officer, which was reluctantly agreed upon, based on an understanding that she submit all her written statements for approval before releasing them to the press.

Chicken agreed to these terms, though did utter the word bum under her breath.

Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , , , , ,

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