Chicken

175. Crunchy Gingerbread Snowman – by Chicken

Posted on December 28, 2016 by Mydogslife
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Christmas Chicken 

I is having a great Christmas and I is having a lot of much goody food. I all did not get my baby rabbit but I did all get a lovely crunchy gingerbread man who is a snowman and he does have a crunchy body and a squeaky head.

Father Christmas did give him to me and I does love Father Christmas but I does not love Rudolf anymore still because he did ruin my big wedding day. Monty did say he had a big special surprise for me on New Year’s Eve so I does know it is my new wedding day and Monty is planning a special big special wedding for me. Rudolf is not coming but Father Christmas is all allowed to come.

Today we did go for walks in the frosty white outside. The Fairy did look silly because she did keeps slipping and I did not slip. So I win.

Chicken ❤️🎄❤️

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: , , ,

172. Monty Is All Spending Much Too Much Time With Rudolf – by Chicken

Posted on December 24, 2016 by Mydogslife

Today I was big sad but then my Monty did come back and I was not sad. Rudolf’s nose did get better and I does think it was Father Christmas with his magic like I did asked in my letter.

Then I was big mad because I did not have my wedding.

Then I was excited because Monty did say that Father Christmas was going to bring us a present because Monty did help him. I does hope it’s my baby rabbit that I will look after him and play with him and not eat him. Now I all cannot sleep so I is going to stay awake all night to wait for Father Christmas to come down the chimney.

Then it was all bigger exciting because Monty did say that he did have an extra special surprise for me on New Year’s Eve and I does not know what it is and I does know that that is our new wedding day! It is all going to be the best wedding day EVER.

Then I did decided to kiss my Monty but then I did stop because his nose did look funny wrong. He did spend much too much very a lot of time with stupid Rudolf and Rudolf’s nose did rub off on him. Stupid Rudolf.

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Monty The Red-nosed Greyhound 

Chicken xxx

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171. I Is All Going To Get Him – by Chicken

Posted on December 23, 2016 by Mydogslife
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I is so sad without my wedding

Stupid, fat-head, red-nosed Rudolf has ruined my beautiful wedding by going and all breaking his own nose. I is so angry that I is spitting out feathers. Monty has all said he is helping Father Christmas so I does have to be on my own and not married.

Monty did say I did have to stop being a dress sieve and be all grown up instead and I did say that when I does catch Rudolf I is going to break his legs.

Then I did write my letter to Father Christmas.

Dear Father Christmas,

I has all been a goody girl and for Christmas please can I have a tramp and lean, thirty-seventy-four-two roll sausages in a bag, and a baby rabbit that I can play with and look after him but not eat him. Also, please make Rudolf’s big ugly nose better with your magic so that me and my lovely Monty can all get married on Christmas Eve. 

Love Chicken ❤️❤️❤️

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: , , ,

166. We Has Set The Date – by Chicken

Posted on December 13, 2016 by Mydogslife

I did go for a walks in the dark and Monty didn’t come with me because Monty thinks the big noises come in the dark so he is scaredy bum bum. Ugly Cats did see me and he did look at me all mean so I did shout at him.

Ugly Cats did say that Foxy was all getting on everyone’s nerves by talkering about being on the tellybox and being a national treasure and he isn’t one. Ugly Cats did say all the wildlife did want Monty to get rid of him and I did say that he would. Then Ugly Cats said he’d believe it when he saw it, because Monty doesn’t all do what he says he is going to do.

I did big shouting at him because he is all not allowed to say bad things about my Monty. Ugly Cats did say that Monty said he was going to marry me and then he didn’t marry me so he is right. I did say he was wrong and then I did tell him that he was smelly and then I did go home.

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Father Christmas and Rudolf is going to be at my wedding

Me and Monty did together do deciding and we did decide to get marry married on Christmas Eve and then I did have to go and tell Monty because he didn’t know yet.

Monty did say this was an acceptable proposition so I is all excited and I is going shopping with The Fairy to buy a new dress. I is going to invite Father Christmas and Rudolf to be at my wedding.

I is happy and Ugly Cats is smelly.

Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: , , , , ,

164. I Is Not Snotty – by Chicken

Posted on December 11, 2016 by Mydogslife

Stink bum poxy Foxy did make me talk to him the other night and he did talkering for ages and ages and I all didn’t listen because Monty did tell me that I didn’t all have to listen to stinky bum foxes. He did tell me that he was more important than me and Monty because he is a film star. I did say he wasn’t a film star and he did say he was.

Stinky Foxy did say that he is on the tellybox all the every night in people’s houses. He did say everyone loves him because he can jump on a tramp and lean but I did say that I was betterer because I could do big jumpy jumps on my own and I didn’t need a tramp or a lean. So I win.

He did say I was being big headed and I did say that I didn’t have to speak to him because Monty did say greyhounds is all too soup area to speak to foxes and foxes have stinky bums. Foxy did say that he didn’t have to speak to me because he was a film star and  I did say get lost and he did say I was too snotty for him to speak to anyways.

Then I did go back to Monty and did ask him if I was all snotty and Monty donty did say that I was not snotty and Monty is right because Monty knows all everything.

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I is NOT snotty 

Chicken xxx

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160. Hello Weeing And The Witch’s Ugly Cat – by Chicken

Posted on November 2, 2016 by Mydogslife

WEEEEEEEEEEING! HELLO WEEEEEEEEEEEING!

Hello Weeing was boring silly boring. Foxy did go everywhere and do weeing because he is trying to tell big Monty that he is the boss, but Monty can do better wees.

I did go outs with The Fairy in the night time walk a few days ago and Foxy did see me and did say that it was all his estate but I did say that Monty was in charge because Monty does do The Watch but Foxy did say, “Where is he then?”

So I did say that he was all doing big planning at home and he is very busy doing big planning at home. Foxy did say that he was taking over and I did say he was too little and couldn’t do anything. But then on Hello Weeing night Foxy did weeing everywhere and he is stinky smelly stink bum.

Ugly Cats did follow me and The Fairy, and did say that Monty did have to take charge again or all the cats would take charge but I did say they couldn’t take charge because they is all ugly. Then Ugly Cats did say that I did have to be a pilot to him because he had special magic powers on Hello Weeing night because he is a witch’s cat and he did say that he could all turn me into a frog or make my nose drop off. I did say get lost.

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Chicken Frog

Then back at home I did tell Monty that Foxy did weeing everywhere and that Ugly Cats had turned me into a froggy frog but Monty did say I still did look like a beautiful greyhound to him. But then The Fairy did say, “Stand still, Chicken! You’re jumping about like a frog.”

Now I does have to eats Ugly Cats to break the spell.

Chicken

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: , , , ,

159. Poxy Foxy – by Chicken

Posted on October 25, 2016 by Mydogslife

BOOM! BOOM! Chicky, Chicky!

Chicky, Chicky, BOOM BOOM!

BOOM! BOOM! Chicky, Chicky, BOOM! BOOM!

Then I did go out for a walk in the late dark with The Fairy and I did wear my coat because it is all coldy cold at the night time now. Monty bum bum wee wee foot did only come with us to the end of my street because then he did say he did have to all go home because he was busy but I does know he is scaredy bum. When we did get near the big road, I did see the stupid poxy foxy in the field.

Then in the suddenly, Ugly Cats did jump up on the big fence and follow us. He did say that the smelly fox was looking for things to eat in the field and that I did all have to be careful because the fox would eats me. Then I did shout at Ugly Cats because he is stupid and I did say that I was not scared of the poxy foxy and that I could eats him and then I could eats Ugly Cats as well.

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Researching Hello Weeing

Ugly Cats did say that I should calms down because we is on the same side of The Watch, but I did say that I was only on Monty’s side and we didn’t need him. He then did say that Foxy was doing big horrible planning for a big bad night of weeing so I did go home to my house quickly and tell Monty abouts it.

I did say that Ugly Cats did say he could eats me and then I did say that Foxy was doing a Hello Weeing plan, and Monty did say he would all do some research.

I is not scared of any silly Hello Weeing night!

Chicken xxx

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154. We Has Eaten A Sausage Dog – by Chicken

Posted on October 9, 2016 by Mydogslife
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Sausage dogs

It is all not nice that Monty has a poorly foot, but it did mean that The Fairy did make us special foods to make him feel better. We did get sausage dogs to eats and I did like eating the sausage dogs. I has been asking for more sausage dogs again but The Fairy has not made them again because we is all fat, especially Monty. Monty has to not be fat because if he is fat his poorly foot will be more hurty hurt hurt. I did reminding to The Fairy that I did not have a poorly foot and I is not very fat just a bit fat but she did say it wasn’t fair if I did get special foods and Monty didn’t so I is mad.

They does like being eaten

Last night in the night time dark we did go for a walks. I did speak to the fox and I did not speak to the fox because he was too far away. Monty did say we had to warns people with pet rabbits so they could all keeps their rabbits safe and I did say that all the rabbits could live in my garden and I would all look after them and play with them but not eat them.

Monty did say they would all be safer with the fox and he did not want wildlife in my garden anyways, because they would all destroy his race track. Bum.

Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: , , ,

151. List Of My Unfavourite Things Which Are More Important Than Monty’s Unfavourite Things – by Chicken

Posted on October 3, 2016 by Mydogslife

1. Monty copying me by writing a list of things before me and I did say I was going to write a list of things yesterday and then Monty did copy me first before I wrote my second list first.

2. Monty playing with my toys because all toys are mine.

7. Being on my alone.

15. Ugly Cats because he is mean at looking at me and he does want to steal my toys, and Grey Cat because she does always try to kiss Monty.

9. Hedgehogs.

10. Moving furniture.

11. Vacuum cleaner.

22. Mop.

 

Today this morning we did go out to the special foods shop so Monty could go to the vetty vet with his poorly foot. The vet did say that Monty was very better, and that he had got gooder teeth and big muscles. Then we did get weighed in the waiting room and I did find out that Monty was fat.

Monty does now weigh 38.2km and I does only weigh 27.4 stone so I win. The vet did say that Monty did need to be careful with the exercise on his foot so I did say I would all help him not to do the exercise on his foot and then I did wee in the shoppy shop. BOOM! BOOM!

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Helping Monty by telling him not to do the exercise with his foot.

Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: ,

146. Press Release 2 – by Chicken

Posted on September 11, 2016 by Mydogslife

THE WATCH INEFFECTIVE AS LEADER SUFFERS FROM CABIN FEVER

The foxy fox is still all on the estate and the little animals is all still worried because Monty McDonty is not doing any plans with  Ugly Face Cats, because he is not allowed out.

Monty McDonty is sad and annoyed when he doesn’t all go for walks, and he doesn’t all want anyone to know that he is not doing the patrols. He did say it was bad for more arm.

I did say it was bad for his arm as well. BOOM! BOOM!

He is beginnering to mutter to himself and does spend too much time in his office. I did try to keep his more arm up by telling him that I was bestest at catching foxes anyways, so I could all do the job, but this just made him worse.

I does think that he is suffering from cabin fever, but he did say he was not hotty hot, and that he didn’t all live in a cabin. Then he did go to talks to the tomatoes.

By Stand-Still-Chicken 

Public Relations Officer 

The Neighbours Hooded Wildlife Animal Fox Watch

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: , , ,

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