Chicken

124. Rubbish Vandal – by Chicken

Posted on July 23, 2016 by Mydogslife

I did once tell everyone in the world that Monty donty was a rubbish criminal, because he did steal a roll sausage in a bag and left all the crumby crumbs on his face. He didn’t all share it with me. Now I is saying that Monty donty is a rubbish vandal as well.

Today in the morning he did go out and do illegal digging near the patty and was all pleased and happy. Then I did look at the patty and it was covered in mud and I did think The Fairy would all blame me. Then Monty did look at the muddy patty and did think it was all a walk of art.

Then I did realise that I was safety safe, and all because Monty has a big head.

BOOM! BOOM!

Chicken xxx

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More valuable art because thicky artist signed it

 

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: ,

122. Monty’s Burning Bottom – by Chicken

Posted on July 21, 2016 by Mydogslife

Monty is too hot,

He likes the shade a lot.

What is now occurring?

His big bottom is burning.

He’s all come back inside,

Like an egg, he has been fried.

I told him he was silly,

He could have burnt his head!

BOOM! BOOM! 

By Chicken xxx

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120. Monty’s Stupid Girlfriend – by Chicken

Posted on July 19, 2016 by Mydogslife

We is all bumpy excited because last night The Fairy did tell us a goody bedtime story. She did tell us that Arky had been to his gradually station and did wear a big gown and funny hat and it did all look like Hogwarts. Then she did say that he was all coming to live in my house so we is all having to tidy up. Monty did say it would be good to have another man in the house and I did say, where is the first one? BOOM! BOOM!

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Cleverer me sitting in the shady shade

My house is going to be busy bee busy, because Big Rabbit is coming to see us today. We cannot go out for big walks later because it is all too hotty hot, hot hot. We does have a paddling pool and fans so it is a bit betterer. Monty did say all the fans were his.

Today this morning very early before the hotty hot, we did go for a walk. Stupid Grey Cat did run out to see Monty again. She always runs to see him and does throw herself on the floor in fronts of him. I did say I would get Grey Cat, but Monty did say she was just friendly and it was no surprise that she liked him. So I did say ifs he likes her so much, he should just marry her. Then he did say that might be a goody idea because she is all quiet.

So then on the way home in the very early this morning, I did tell Monty a night mayor bedtime story:

Once upon a in the long ago, a big handsome dog who was thicky, did meet a stupid cat. Then the stupid dog did make friends with the stupid cat and let the stupid cat be all in his house with him. Then they did go to bed and in the morning, Monty couldn’t walk because in the night time the smelly stupid cat had chewed all his legs off. THE END

Monty did say I was being silly billy but I did warn him about the cats and then I did say, don’t say I didn’t warn you. When Big Rabbit comes I is going to tell her about smelly Grey Cat.

Chicken

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: ,

118. Monty’s Corncob – by Chicken

Posted on July 16, 2016 by Mydogslife

Yesterday in the daytime all day, me and Monty did go back to the big kennels that we came from. I did say we was going racing again and I was going to beat Monty, but Monty said he was just there to do an inspection. We did get some foods but Monty did say he was all going to wait for the steak, so I did wait as well.

cooked corn cob

Monty’s corncob

But Monty was all cheaty cheaty with the food because he did get some food that I didn’t get. He did go offs with the man and then he did come back with the man, and he did say that he had had a corncob removed from his footy. Monty did not all bring back the corncob so I knows that he did eats it on his own and not share it. I did gets all cross mad about this, because I hasn’t done the forgetting about the roll sausage in the bag yet.

Monty did also say that his gate is now fixed, so I does think the man was being favouritism and I is not going back until I can have a corncob as well.

We did go to run and play outside, and big head Monty did do demonstrating about his new footy. Then he did cut his front footy on something just before The Fairy did come to get us.

So I can all calls him poorly Monty again. BOOM! BOOM!

Chicken xxx

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117. Monty’s Gate Is Broken – by Chicken

Posted on July 15, 2016 by Mydogslife

BOOM! BOOM! Chicky.

Chicky, Chicky, BOOM! BOOM!

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Poorly baby mouse with no ears

My eye is all proper betterer now so I is happy. I has been playing on my new patty but Monty did say I had to stay off it until it was all finished. Bum bum bum. He is so bossy. Monty did also get into trouble because he did take a dislike to our new baby mouse and did eat its ears off. He did say his actions were in line with the no wildlife policy currently in place, so did not feel any guilty.

We is going out somewhere special today but I don’t knows where. The Fairy is worried because Monty’s gate is not right, and she did say he needs to get it fixed. I did say I didn’t care about Monty’s gate because we has a good gate already that is all not broken. Monty said he was too busy replying for government jobs, and didn’t have time to get his gate fixed.

I did tell him not to be the Leads of the Opposites because I did want to have him all to myself and not be busy doing polly tricks business. I did reminded him of all his responses here in my house, and I do think he should stay here and be all the Commandering Onion of this unit. He did gibber on about votering rights for greyhounds but I did say ifs he doesn’t do what I tells him, I will vote to bite his big bottom.

Chicken xxx

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114. My Biggerer Big Eye – by Chicken

Posted on July 11, 2016 by Mydogslife

My big eye did get a bit better and then it did get a bit biggerer again so I did have to go back to the vetty vet to get some biggerer medicine. It is now getting all better so I is nearly not sick anymore. Which is good news because now I has to look after Monty donty because he has got a poorly tummy.

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Poorly Monty sulking

My toy was playing all by its alone on the settee, so I did jump up to get it. Then I did see Monty underneath my toy and I did land all big heavy on his tummy accidentally on accident. He did screaming all loud and I did jump away all quickly. Monty did snapping and snarling because his tummy was bleeding but I did get out the way before he could get me so everything is all OK. The Fairy did fuss over him so I did have to tell her to do the remembering about my big eye.

Ugly Cats wanted to know what was going on in my garden but I did tell him that he wasn’t allowed to know that we is having a patty built because it is not his business and he is nosey. He said he needed to speak to Monty but I did say I couldn’t all go to get him because Monty wasn’t all speaking to me. He said I had to tells Monty that he had found the ill eagle fracking and would take us to see it.

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My new patty being started

Monty was working with Pete Who Can Build Anything and was inspecting the patty trench. I did tell him that Ugly Cat said he would bring the ill eagle frackers to us, and Monty did get all mad. He did say that he doesn’t want his new patty being comp promised, so he is all going to arrest Ugly Cats. I did say we could eats him, but Monty said we need to squeeze him for information. I is all excited about squeezing the cats!

BOOM! BOOM!

Chicken xxx

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112. Does My Eye Look Big In This? – by Chicken

Posted on July 1, 2016 by Mydogslife
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Big eye poorly

My eye has been poorly and hurty but the vet did give me some medicine and it is all beginning to get better now. I did do loads of sleeping and did gets extra loads of attention so it was all not that bad. Monty did sit on the settee with me to stop me being sad. He is gooder at looking after me. He did get told off for watering the flowers so he did go and water the patty chairs instead. I did not get told off because I is a good girl.

Arky-Ollie-Just has been talkering with Monty about checking the big hole where the patty is going, and he did say he would look for old things before we did put the concrete down. Poor Arky-Ollie-Just has got to move out of his house and The Fairy did say he can come and be with us in my house. The Fairy did say he had finished at the universe, and that he got a thirst. I thinks he has drunk all the water in his house so now needs a newer house.

Me and Monty did decide he could live with us and he can share our water in our water dishes. Monty did say that Arky-Ollie-Just would make us gooder food because he is all clever at cookering.

Come home Arky, bring sausages.

Love Chicken xxx

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110. England Has All Left Europe – by Chicken

Posted on June 27, 2016 by Mydogslife

The English England footy ball team has been allowed to leave Your Rope. The other Iceland team did have to stay to do more silly footy ball, so I do think they is maybe all upset. Serves them right for not being good at giving the footy ball away.

My lovely Monty has all bought me another other present. He has bought me a pet bunny and I did go to keeper it warm in my mouth, but it was all sharpy hard and not fluffety at all and it is a small bit boring because it just sits in the same place all the long time. Monty said I all couldn’t eat it because it was a guest and I did say that I was just keepering it warm.

Then we did go for a walk up Bunny Hill and we did see tenty threety seven two bunnies all running around and Monty and me did want to chase them. We did have great fun jumping about but The Fairy forgot to all let go of the leads so we didn’t get to do too much fun.

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Addering value to his house

 

My pet bunny has made his hutch pretty pretty with flowers, and Monty has been a gooder gardener and has watered them.

He is so cleverer at helping.

 

 

Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: ,

107. I Am Office Alley Enraged – by Chicken

Posted on June 24, 2016 by Mydogslife

Yesterday in the day we did all go to vote and me and Monty did burst into the votering hut and frighten the lady and man, and then Monty did change his mind and did drag us outside again. The Fairy tried to makes him go inside again but he did say there was something important outside that he had to inspect. Two lovely ladies did stand with him outside and me and The Fairy did go back in to do the voting. When I did wake up this morning, Monty did all tell me that we is leaving Your Rope.

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My enragement collar

I did say straight away that we had to go shoppering because I did need a bikini for when Britain moves to Panama, but Monty did say that we hadn’t decidered where to go because he hadn’t spoken to the government yet. But he did say that he had all asked The Fairy to buy a present for me from him, and I did get all excited.

The Fairy did just get back and I has got the bestest ever brand new collar! It is a special enragement collar from my Monty because it all has real loads of diamonds on it. Monty did get himself one as well and I did think that everybody will now all know that I am his fancy. I did jumps and running in the garden and then did sit with Monty on the settee. Today I is office alley enraged, and office alley happy happy.

I all does love my lovely, bubbly Monty bum bum!

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Me and my Monty 

Happy Chicken xxx

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103. To Be Or Not To Be ….. In Your Rope – by Chicken

Posted on June 11, 2016 by Mydogslife

When we did have the sausages, the sausages were lovely bubbly but we did have to wait for them to go coldy. Monty did talking about going on a F.A.R.T. mission so I is all excited. Then everyone was all talkering about the Your Rope vote so I did go to do the digging.

Monty did then go on the iPaddy to register to vote, and did all realise that he all wasn’t allowed to, because he is a greyhound and then his head did fall off. He did shout and shout and did say that he had four legs and peoples only had two, so he did think he should have more votes than people, not less. He said it was the mostest importantest thing to happen in his lifetime and it is all disgraceful. I did know that our wedding is the mostest importantest thing, so I am going to kick him in the head when I gets time. Then I dids say that votering was silly, and Monty’s head did fall off again.

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Listening to Monty 

He did stomp up and down yelling about the Surfer Jets, who did all loads of big fighting to gets the vote for women. He did say that I should thank them by always always usering my vote because they was all so brave. He did say that everybody should use their vote because we is all very lucky lucky to have one. I did remind him that greyhounds didn’t all have one, and then he dids say that he was going to be a Surfer Jet for greyhounds. I dids say that he didn’t have time before the big vote, but he did say that he would do it anyways, because ifs we leaves Your Rope, we will all have to vote on where we will go.

I did then say that it wouldn’t make a difference anyway, because the Polly Ticks People on the tellybox said so. Monty did say that I didn’t all understand it and I did say that I all did understand it and Monty did say prove it.

So I did say that it was all very clear, and we is all doomed. Ifs we vote to stay in Your Rope nothing will go right, and ifs we vote to leave Your Rope everything will go wrong. If we believe the big Polly Ticks People, Britain is all about to just blow away in the wind or sink into the sea.

Monty did just stand and stare at me for a bit and then did start talkering again, quickerer and loudier than normal. Then I dids find out that I all wasn’t listening to him anymore anyway, because I dids find out that I wasn’t interested. So Monty did keep gibbering on about Your Rope, and I did fall asleep. BOOM! BOOM!

Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: ,

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