Greyhounds

114. My Biggerer Big Eye – by Chicken

Posted on July 11, 2016 by Mydogslife

My big eye did get a bit better and then it did get a bit biggerer again so I did have to go back to the vetty vet to get some biggerer medicine. It is now getting all better so I is nearly not sick anymore. Which is good news because now I has to look after Monty donty because he has got a poorly tummy.

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Poorly Monty sulking

My toy was playing all by its alone on the settee, so I did jump up to get it. Then I did see Monty underneath my toy and I did land all big heavy on his tummy accidentally on accident. He did screaming all loud and I did jump away all quickly. Monty did snapping and snarling because his tummy was bleeding but I did get out the way before he could get me so everything is all OK. The Fairy did fuss over him so I did have to tell her to do the remembering about my big eye.

Ugly Cats wanted to know what was going on in my garden but I did tell him that he wasn’t allowed to know that we is having a patty built because it is not his business and he is nosey. He said he needed to speak to Monty but I did say I couldn’t all go to get him because Monty wasn’t all speaking to me. He said I had to tells Monty that he had found the ill eagle fracking and would take us to see it.

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My new patty being started

Monty was working with Pete Who Can Build Anything and was inspecting the patty trench. I did tell him that Ugly Cat said he would bring the ill eagle frackers to us, and Monty did get all mad. He did say that he doesn’t want his new patty being comp promised, so he is all going to arrest Ugly Cats. I did say we could eats him, but Monty said we need to squeeze him for information. I is all excited about squeezing the cats!

BOOM! BOOM!

Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: , , ,

113. It’s England And It’s July, So… – by Monty

Posted on July 2, 2016 by Mydogslife

Chicken’s eye is much better today, so I feel able to concentrate on other matters. I tried to contact Simon at the DECC but there was no answer on his office phone, so I rang him at home. I presented my concerns about the recent bouts of heavy rain to him in a concise and respectful manner, but he said he had bigger things to think about at the moment. Apparently, his boss has applied for another job and he might be in line for promotion if she gets it.

I checked various websites, and found quite a few vacancies in both the Conservative and Labour camps. I decided to apply initially for the job of Prime Minister, and in the event that I don’t get it; for the top job in the Opposition. Chicken said she liked the idea of me being the boss of the whole country, as long as it didn’t interfere with the amount of attention I gave her.

The Fairy said that isn’t how it works, and that I should pick a side that I agree with and believe in, and then stick to it. She said that I couldn’t go changing my mind willy-nilly with something as important as politics.

Which shows how much she knows.

Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: ,

112. Does My Eye Look Big In This? – by Chicken

Posted on July 1, 2016 by Mydogslife
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Big eye poorly

My eye has been poorly and hurty but the vet did give me some medicine and it is all beginning to get better now. I did do loads of sleeping and did gets extra loads of attention so it was all not that bad. Monty did sit on the settee with me to stop me being sad. He is gooder at looking after me. He did get told off for watering the flowers so he did go and water the patty chairs instead. I did not get told off because I is a good girl.

Arky-Ollie-Just has been talkering with Monty about checking the big hole where the patty is going, and he did say he would look for old things before we did put the concrete down. Poor Arky-Ollie-Just has got to move out of his house and The Fairy did say he can come and be with us in my house. The Fairy did say he had finished at the universe, and that he got a thirst. I thinks he has drunk all the water in his house so now needs a newer house.

Me and Monty did decide he could live with us and he can share our water in our water dishes. Monty did say that Arky-Ollie-Just would make us gooder food because he is all clever at cookering.

Come home Arky, bring sausages.

Love Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: ,

111. Swollen Eye Chicken – by Monty

Posted on June 30, 2016 by Mydogslife
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Swollen eye Chicken

I have been occupied taking care of Chicken for the last few days, as she has an eye the size of a golf ball. We are not sure what has happened, but her teeth and ears seem to be fine. Her right eye is so swollen that it is nearly closed. The vet has prescribed antibiotic eye drops, metacam and a lot of TLC. I am taking my responsibility seriously, and being extra kind to her. I will be taking her back to the vet if her eye is not better in a couple of days. It does not appear to have affected her appetite, so we are hoping this means there is no hidden infection in the roots of her teeth. Time will tell.

 

Ugly Cat has re-appeared and has expressed an interest in our sloth enclosure. I told him in no uncertain terms that he was to stay out of it. He told me that he would lead me to the field where he believes the illegal fracking to be taking place, in exchange for some play time in the sloth enclosure. I informed him that I could not guarantee his safety, and that I feel confident that I could locate said fracking site myself anyway. He said he would give me some time to think about his offer of help, and disappeared over the neighbour’s fence.

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Work in progress 

More work is taking place in the garden, and the rabbit has escaped but has made no attempt to leave the area.

It really is the world’s most boring rabbit.

Monty

 

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , , ,

110. England Has All Left Europe – by Chicken

Posted on June 27, 2016 by Mydogslife

The English England footy ball team has been allowed to leave Your Rope. The other Iceland team did have to stay to do more silly footy ball, so I do think they is maybe all upset. Serves them right for not being good at giving the footy ball away.

My lovely Monty has all bought me another other present. He has bought me a pet bunny and I did go to keeper it warm in my mouth, but it was all sharpy hard and not fluffety at all and it is a small bit boring because it just sits in the same place all the long time. Monty said I all couldn’t eat it because it was a guest and I did say that I was just keepering it warm.

Then we did go for a walk up Bunny Hill and we did see tenty threety seven two bunnies all running around and Monty and me did want to chase them. We did have great fun jumping about but The Fairy forgot to all let go of the leads so we didn’t get to do too much fun.

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Addering value to his house

 

My pet bunny has made his hutch pretty pretty with flowers, and Monty has been a gooder gardener and has watered them.

He is so cleverer at helping.

 

 

Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags: ,

109. Who’s Laughing Now? – by Monty

Posted on June 26, 2016 by Mydogslife

Bob laughed at me, PC Dave laughed at me, Pete laughed at me, Grandma laughed at me, Grandad laughed at me, Sister laughed at me, The Fairy laughed at me and Arky-Ollie-Just laughed at me most of all. Why? Because I insisted there was a rabbit in that hutch and they thought it was funny that I spent so much time staring into it.

But I did not let it affect my self-confidence. It’s all about having the courage of your own convictions. Build it, as they say, and it will come.

The Fairy moved the hutch into the middle of the garden yesterday, and by the evening the rabbit had decided to come out of hiding and show itself. I KNEW I WAS RIGHT. I absolutely knew I was right again. We have a rabbit.

Granted, it is not a very active rabbit. In fact, it hasn’t moved an inch since it first appeared. It doesn’t seem to need water or food or hay, it doesn’t respond to being poked, and doesn’t even need to blink. But it’s a rabbit, and it’s there.

So to coin a phrase: I win.

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Am I right, or am I right?

Monty The Correct

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: ,

108. Unity – by Monty

Posted on June 25, 2016 by Mydogslife

We went to vote on Thursday morning and I led the way. I entered the hut to register my presence, then purposely refused to remain in protest at not being allowed to vote. Whilst The Fairy and Chicken went back inside, I spent my time educating two nice ladies about the travesty of greyhounds not being given the vote. They were very kind and, I suspect, very impressed by me.

I spoke to The Fairy about buying us some new collars, as we had had the same ones for a while. I felt that it was time to upgrade, particularly as so much other refurbishment was going on around us. In addition to this, I feel it is time to show publicly that we are a unit. Britain may have left Europe, but I am not going to leave Chicken. Not that she would let me.

The Fairy agreed, and returned from a shopping trip with two fabulous collars covered in diamonds. Chicken’s is black, and suits her beautiful silky coat, and mine is dark brown with manly diamond bones on it. I knew Chicken would like it, but her delight surprised even me. In fact, she was delirious. Who would have expected her to be so excited about such a simple thing as a new collar? It must be noted that Chicken’s enthusiasm for life is having an effect on me, and I now have a better work/life balance. I take regular breaks from my responsibilities to enjoy playing with her, and we even sit together now.

On a more important note, the sloth enclosure has been filled with sand. Chicken jumped straight in it without hesitation, but I have decided to postpone my first exploratory mission until the relevant paperwork has been completed, as I do not know yet whether the structure has been officially approved. I’m not frightened obviously, it’s just that the last thing I need now is to be in trouble with the Council.

Monty

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107. I Am Office Alley Enraged – by Chicken

Posted on June 24, 2016 by Mydogslife

Yesterday in the day we did all go to vote and me and Monty did burst into the votering hut and frighten the lady and man, and then Monty did change his mind and did drag us outside again. The Fairy tried to makes him go inside again but he did say there was something important outside that he had to inspect. Two lovely ladies did stand with him outside and me and The Fairy did go back in to do the voting. When I did wake up this morning, Monty did all tell me that we is leaving Your Rope.

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My enragement collar

I did say straight away that we had to go shoppering because I did need a bikini for when Britain moves to Panama, but Monty did say that we hadn’t decidered where to go because he hadn’t spoken to the government yet. But he did say that he had all asked The Fairy to buy a present for me from him, and I did get all excited.

The Fairy did just get back and I has got the bestest ever brand new collar! It is a special enragement collar from my Monty because it all has real loads of diamonds on it. Monty did get himself one as well and I did think that everybody will now all know that I am his fancy. I did jumps and running in the garden and then did sit with Monty on the settee. Today I is office alley enraged, and office alley happy happy.

I all does love my lovely, bubbly Monty bum bum!

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Me and my Monty 

Happy Chicken xxx

Categories: Chicken, Greyhounds | Tags:

106. The Big Day – by Monty

Posted on June 23, 2016 by Mydogslife

Yesterday, work started on the garden.

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Job 1

Job 1  Fill in the holes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Job 2 

 

 

Job 2  Empty the holes to check whether they had been filled correctly in the first place. (They had.)

 

 

 

Job 3  Move the wood from one part of the garden to another.

I can’t work out whether The Fairy has actually built something, or whether she’s just made the effort to pile the wood up neatly. When I asked her she said it was a surprise. Ugly Cat said it was a raised bed, but Chicken said he was an idiot because a raised bed is known as a settee, and is always in the living room. The Fairy said it was not for plants, which leads me to believe it is a containment area for some kind of animal.

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Job 3: Sloth enclosure?

We already have a rabbit, albeit an elusive one, and now I fear I am being asked to accommodate yet more wildlife. Chicken is hoping it will be a kangaroo so they can have jumpy jumping competitions, but I said a kangaroo could easily jump out of the structure, thus rendering it useless. It is more likely to be an animal that cannot jump, such as a sloth. Chicken said a sloth would be boring, but I said it would be a nice change from a hyperactive frog. She then went off to look for said frog, having totally misunderstood the meaning of my words.

 

 

 

 

TODAY IS THE BIG DAY

We are all going off to vote soon. I have decided to attend to mark the importance of the event, despite the fact that I have been discriminated against vis-a-vis eligibility to vote. I may or may not register my disgust at this situation. I don’t ordinarily take part in demonstrations, but there is an outside chance that I will wee in the hut by way of protest.

Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , , ,

105. About Time – by Monty

Posted on June 22, 2016 by Mydogslife

I will be the first to admit that I never rush into things. Prior Preparation and Planning is my mantra, and this process should never be rushed. Further to this, it is essential that all Health and Safety issues be addressed and any elements of potential danger be assessed properly before proceeding with any activity. This includes such activities as going out into the garden, or getting out of the car. You can never be too careful.

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Before

You can, however, be painfully slow, as I have found out since taking up residency in my forever home. One of the reasons I chose to live with The Fairy is that I like a challenge. There appeared to be a lot of work to do in the house and garden, and The Fairy was obviously in need of a good project manager.

Much to my disgust, every project that I have put forward has been scuppered or postponed. My Trench Building Project was stopped by Bob at the Council, and my Mud Head Project has yet to see the light of day. The wildlife exclusion zone which incorporated the whole of my garden, has been breached with the help of The Fairy, who constantly entices wildlife in with food. Sink holes have appeared, and grass has disappeared, due to the illegal fracking activity in the area.

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Waiting to be planted

So you can imagine my excitement when it was announced that finally, work could get underway. Pete Who Can Build Anything is coming in a couple of weeks to lay the patio, and plants and shrubs have appeared in the garden, ready to be planted. A large pile of wood has been delivered, but there are no accompanying plans, so I can only guess what is to become of that. Most interestingly, we now own a large rabbit hutch.

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It can’t hide forever

The Fairy insists that we are not getting a rabbit, much to Chicken’s disappointment, but I am absolutely convinced there is one in there already. Every time I go into the garden, I go to check for it.  My record for staring at the hutch, stands at seven minutes. I can be incredibly persistent when the occasion calls for it, and the rabbit cannot hide forever.

The garden refurbishment is finally getting underway.

About time.

Monty

Categories: Greyhounds, Monty | Tags: , , , , ,

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