Monty is all not coping with not being the Prime Ministers; he is not coping with being inside because of the hotty hot, and he is not coping with being on the big diet.
I was all going to kick him in the head to make him stop doing the tantrumming but I did deciding and did decide not to stop him because he did have his teeth with him.
Monty’s tantrum
Chicken
My poor bum bum Monty is all not happy because he is sad. He did find out that we is all not the Prime Ministers and I did say he did need to find out which Minister didn’t put the Greyhounds Is In Charge Party on the bit of paper which people got to tick, and then he should chase him around the field.
Monty did say he would look into it but he did say it in a sad voice. I did make him feel better yesterday by running fasterer than him around my racey track but today we has to stay in again for the rest of the day today because the hotty hot sun is back.
I is all going to do shouting at him later to see if that does cheer him up. Sad Monty bum bum.
My sad Monty
Chicken xxx
I IS FURIOUS! I IS A CHICKEN SPITTING FEATHERS!
My big job as Prime Ministers has all been stolen away by somebody else! Monty did keeps saying I did have to stay calm but I did kick him in the head. Then I did ring the police. The police did say that PC Dave was not at the station so I did say I would come and kick them in the head and then Monty did take the phone off me.
I did thinking and thinking and did decide to ring the Queen. The Queen was a bit busy and couldn’t all come to the phone but the man did say that Mrs May-Or-May-Not had already been to see the Queen first before me and my Monty. I did not tell him that I would kick him in the head.
Monty did say not to worry because he was doing a big investigating and we was the Prime Ministers but he did need to sort out the static tickle error. I was still angry mad but he said that when it was sorted out that we will both go together to see the Queen together and then I was happy.
I has picked my new hat
I did ask The Fairy ifs I could get a new hat to go to see the Queen and she did say yes. And then I was more better happy than before and Monty didn’t get all kicked in the head again.
Chicken
Trolly, trolly, trolly, trolly, trolly, troll, troll! BOOM! BOOM!
We is going to move to be living near the trolly troll trolls and they will like me and be my friends. When Britain does leave Your Rope and does go near to nearly Iceland and No-way, I can gets a bus to No-way and visit the trolls. Monty did say I could only go on my days off and I did say I can go all the days but Monty did say that today is the only last day that we will be normal because tomorrow in the morning we is going to be the Prime Ministers.
I did reminding and did remind him that he all hadn’t done any camping and he did say he didn’t need to because we was all going to win anyway so I is all excited. The Fairy did say that she will do my hair in the tomorrow morning and she did say that when me and Monty bum bum become the Prime Ministers that she will bake us a big cake.
And I did say, each? and she did say, each.
Then I did go to Monty and tell him that The Fairy was all making me two cakey cakes. BOOM! BOOM!
Chicken
BOOM! BOOM! CHICKY! Monty big bum bum bum bum poo!
The Fairy did go aways on holibobs without me and then she did go on holibobs and she did come back. Then she did say that she had all been to No-way so she did not go anywheres because when I did ask her she said no way.
I was all excited happy when she did come home and she did bring me a present which was a little toy of my Monty.
Monty-Troll
Monty did say Ugly Cats could be in the cabinet and I did say he should be all thinking about the big Prime Ministers jobs instead of choosing furniture with stupid Ugly Cats.
My new friend Monty-Troll wants to be in the cabinet as well so he can all scare Ugly Cats when he is in there, but Monty did say trolls were very not allowed to be in the new cabinet. So I did say that when I is Prime Ministers I is going to let trolls go everywhere and Monty did say that when I is the Prime Ministers that I will all have to be more grown up.
Bum.
It is not me messing about looking in a IKEA catalogue doing furniture shopping for a cat.
Chicken
Chicken and I think it is time to publish our manifesto. We have thought long and hard about what we want to achieve when we assume power, and feel confident that the British people will agree that our manifesto makes more sense than anyone else’s.
THE GREYHOUNDS IN CHARGE MANIFESTO
1. It will be illegal for any Council to insist upon planning permission for anything that any greyhound wishes to build.
2. All loud, medium and quiet noises shall be banned, unless said noise involves cooking.
3. Dog food shall be banned and replaced with steak.
4. Hedgehogs, birds, cats and foxes will be banned from entering our garden.
5. Taxes will be collected in steaks instead of money, and will be delivered to the Prime Ministers on a thrice daily basis.
6. Weeing shall become an official discipline in the Oil Limpets.
7. All lady greyhounds will be given a voucher for a free bikini, which will allow them to make ready for when we leave Your Rope for warmer climes.
I’m sure you will agree that we have dealt with the major issues facing our nation today. We are both 100% certain of victory, and this being the situation, have decided that we will not need to do much campaigning at all. In fact, we have decided to take a short holiday before taking up office. We shall be back in about a week, by which time we imagine most of the other candidates will have dropped out of the running.
Monty The Great and Stand Still Chicken, Prime Ministers in waiting
My picture. I does think I is a better poster.
Much more better than Monty’s
So I win.
Chicken xxx
BOOM! BOOM!
I did go to see the vetty vet and Monty McDonty did not all go with me because he did have something important to do in his office and he didn’t come out his office so we left him.
Then the vetty vet did say I was incompetent and then she did try to give me a biscuit but I did decidered not to eat it because Monty did say he doesn’t eat anything the vetty vet does gives him until he has had it analysed for medicinal ingredients and determined it to be necessary. He did say the vetty vet tries to trick him into eating medicine but he doesn’t fall for it, so I did decide not to fall over either. The vetty vet did say she could give me medicine to make me non-incompetent so I is going to ask Monty if this is necessary.
When I did gets home I did tell Monty that the vet did say I was incompetent and he was all angry mad and did standing up for me so I does love him again today. He did say that telling young ladies that they is incompetent damages their self steam and limits their pot end shells. He did say he was going to give her a piece of his mind but he didn’t know when he would all get the time to go down there.
Me being non-incompetent
He did say I was not incompetent at all and that I was very competent and useful at times and that there was much things I was all goody at so I didn’t need to eat the medicine. I did ask him to tell me all the things I was goody at and he did say there was too many loads to mention. Then I did ask him to say just one thing that I was goody at and he did say it was all better if he did write everything down on a big list and he did go in his office to plan my big list.
He is still there.
Working on my big list.
Chicken
BOOM! BOOM! Chicky, Chicky!
Chicky, Chicky, BOOM BOOM!
BOOM! BOOM! Chicky, Chicky, BOOM! BOOM!
I is back! I has all managed to steal the iPaddy off Monty donty wee foot.
Last nighty in the dark time I did go for a walks all on my own and I was with Arky. Ugly Cats did follow me and he did tell me that he was going to find a place to hide from the big wind because the big wind was coming. He did say that I had to all hide and I did say that Monty would all take care of me. Ugly Cats did laughing and did say that I all wouldn’t be safe if it was left to Monty. I did big barking at him because he is not allowed to say things about Monty.
Keepering my nose safe.
Then I did go home and I did tell The Fairy that Monty’s big wind was coming and I did have to hide. The Fairy did say that Monty’s wind would all be the same as normal and I would still be safe near him. She did say that he wasn’t all about to explode so I dids not need to worry.
I did some remembering and did remember that Monty did exploding in the garden when he did eat a whole big cake. When I asked Monty about his exploding bottom he did remembering as well, and did realise that he hadn’t had a big cake for years and years months. He did go off to the food kitchen to all find out where his cake was.
I did go off to all look for a gas mask.
Chicken
Early in today’s morning I did go out for a walks and I was Miss Chicken. Then I did meets Ugly Cats and he did say he was all upset that he hadn’t been invited to my house for the special event.
So I did say he was not all coming to my wedding because he does look at me all mean and he does want to come in my garden and steal my toys. Then he did say he didn’t even ever know about my wedding and that he was all talking about Rudolf’s visit that Monty had arranged for my big surprise.
Then I did try to eats him.
Then I did go home and did kick Monty in the head and I did say to him get lost.
Then I did get married.
To my lovely crunchy gingerbread snowman new Christmas toy because I does love him more than I does love Monty and Monty is in the dog house.
Then Monty did all try to be nice to me and I did say …….
Too late Monty.
Mrs C Gingerbread-Snowman
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE ❤️
Greyhounds In Charge 