Experts are devided about the authenticity of the latest reported La Chupacabre sighting.
La Chupacabra?
Doubts surfaced after it was revealed that the two unidentified creatures were captured on film in a suburban garden in England.
“It is a little off the beaten track for La Chupacabra,” said one investigator, “but we are willing to remain open-minded.”
Typical wild eyes and vicious claws.
Stay alert people. Stay alive.
BOOM! BOOM! Chicky, Chicky!
Chicky, Chicky, BOOM BOOM!
BOOM! BOOM! Chicky, Chicky, BOOM! BOOM!
I is back! I has all managed to steal the iPaddy off Monty donty wee foot.
Last nighty in the dark time I did go for a walks all on my own and I was with Arky. Ugly Cats did follow me and he did tell me that he was going to find a place to hide from the big wind because the big wind was coming. He did say that I had to all hide and I did say that Monty would all take care of me. Ugly Cats did laughing and did say that I all wouldn’t be safe if it was left to Monty. I did big barking at him because he is not allowed to say things about Monty.
Keepering my nose safe.
Then I did go home and I did tell The Fairy that Monty’s big wind was coming and I did have to hide. The Fairy did say that Monty’s wind would all be the same as normal and I would still be safe near him. She did say that he wasn’t all about to explode so I dids not need to worry.
I did some remembering and did remember that Monty did exploding in the garden when he did eat a whole big cake. When I asked Monty about his exploding bottom he did remembering as well, and did realise that he hadn’t had a big cake for years and years months. He did go off to the food kitchen to all find out where his cake was.
I did go off to all look for a gas mask.
Chicken
Winter has been a disappointment with regards to snow, but I am very pleased to see temperatures rising now as we head towards Spring. Today was warm enough for us to begin work on my garden. I was able to inspect my race track in detail, and found it to be in excellent condition. There was some talk of planting flowers around it, but I have not yet agreed to this plan.
Having tested the outside temperature, wind speed and direction, cloud cover and the firmness of the ground, I determined that the going was good, so I gave permission for my digging pit to be re-opened.
Both Chicken and I thoroughly enjoyed our first foray of the year into my pit. I had quite forgotten how much fun it is. The Fairy made a video which clearly shows my superior digging skills compared to Chicken’s. Chicken says the parts of the video which show me digging are boring and go on too long, and has suggested that you only watch the parts that she is in.
I disagree.
Monty The Great
WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS NAUSEATING CONTENT
Food. It’s important. Greyhounds have a very discerning palette, unlike some dogs who are known to eat anything and everything. People try their best to make mealtimes as interesting as possible, but I say this is unnecessary. Just give us the good quality food we deserve and leave it at that.
The Fairy, for example, likes to hide our food under handfuls of dog food thus forcing us to sort through it and dig for the good stuff. She thinks we enjoy this added challenge whereas we think it just slows the whole process down. Chicken digs around with her nose until she finds the real food, but I have a more efficient method which involves taking the dog food out with my mouth and spitting it on the floor first.
When we eat, we concentrate on our own bowls and there isn’t a problem. When something of high value is involved however, Chicken becomes very possessive and stressed. One day, we managed to acquire a croissant each. I ate mine, but Chicken took hers to her basket and sat on it. She was then unable to leave her basket, for fear that I might steal it. Furthermore, she snapped and barked at me every time I went near her. Fair enough I say, as the croissant was very tempting.
Now let us fast forward to the 18th of February 2017, when The Fairy got it right, and we were given pure chicken for tea. We both ate heartily, but five minutes later, Chicken went out into the garden and vomited the whole lot up. A few seconds later, I decided to go out, and when the door was opened, Chicken pushed passed me and flew out to take up a position just in front of her pile of sick. She then started barking at me, shouting that it was her sick, and therefore I wasn’t allowed to eat it.
Where’s my chicken?
Her possessiveness over high value food even extends to things she has already eaten and subsequently rejected. What on earth made her think I would want to eat the chicken that she had razzed all over the grass? I hasten to add that she didn’t bark at The Fairy when she cleared it up and put it in the bin, so it’s just me that she has a low opinion of. How dare she assume that a thoroughbred of my caliber would eat vomit?
Moral of the story: Don’t come between Chicken and her chicken.
Monty The Great
I just can’t stop being attractive.
I have been away for quite a while as I have been very busy carrying out my official duties. You will be glad to know that I am back on track now, I’m sure. We have had one or two incidents of concern with regards to injuries, but nothing serious.
1. I had a rather large corn on my front foot, but this has now gone completely, thank goodness.
I had to go through the routine of explaining to Chicken that it wasn’t corn on the cob that I had not shared with her. She didn’t believe me.
2. Chicken got her tail trapped which caused her a lot of pain, though thankfully it wasn’t broken.
The Fairy was very upset as it was her fault and I was quite happy with that situation. Chicken however, also wanted me to take some of the blame, citing my large bottom as being partially responsible. I dispute this entirely.
3. My foot has two rather large cuts on it.
Nobody knows how they got there. They are very painful, but I don’t like to complain. Luckily, my race track is full of soft, wet mud so I can still complete my daily workout.
4. The Chicken’s Sick Incident of 18.02.17.
This requires a full and thorough explanation, so I intend to write a report about it, which I will share with you as soon as.
Monty The Great
Forest Gump could not have caught me.
A week, as they say, is a long time in politics. A fortnight is even longer, and three weeks is tantamount to a lifetime. Britain is about to leave Your Rope; Mr Farage has just left Britain; Mr Trump has just become President Trump, and Mrs May has just bought a new dress.
But three weeks in politics is but a snippet compared to three weeks in the same dwelling unit as an angry Chicken.
I am already sick of 2017. Sick as a parrot.
For the first few days she refused to speak to me on the grounds that it would be inappropriate to fratenise with single men now that she was married to Mr Gingerbread-Snowman. Within ten days she had divorced him on the grounds of boredom, and begun a new relationship with a stuffed raccoon. Mr Gingerbread-Snowman and I were then able to become acquainted as Chicken wasn’t interested in either of us.
It was at this point that she re-established the lines of communication with yours truly, in order to tell me that she was sending me to Coventry on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour based on the fact that I had forgotten that all toys are hers.
I told The Fairy to tell Chicken that I was unable to travel to Coventry as my calendar was too full. Chicken told The Fairy to tell me to get lost, but The Fairy was too polite to pass the message on.
All my efforts at friendship were met with cold shoulders and rather unnecessary bad language, so I decided to concentrate on carrying out some maintenance work on my race track. Although there were some minor incidences of interference, for the most part she ignored me in favour of her new beau. Ridiculous!
I decided to remind her how fast I am because I know she finds this particular attribute irresistible. Casting caution to the wind, I repeatedly sprinted at full speed around my track, thereby rendering myself far more attractive than Raccoon.
She didn’t say it out loud, but I think she was secretly impressed.
Monty
I appear to have miscalculated with regards to Chicken’s wishes. I am surprised about this, as I rarely miscalculate. I thought she would have loved to have met Rudolf, but before his visit, it came to light that she wasn’t very pleased at all. Actually, she was furious. As was he, when I told him that he would no longer be having a five course meal at my house. Apparently, he had been starving himself for three days in anticipation of the feast.
Chicken is still angry that we didn’t get married on Christmas Eve and blames Rudolf. Although I can understand her feelings towards him, I think it is very unfair of her to also blame me, as I have done nothing wrong, and was planning on marrying her in the near future. When I told her this, she informed me that she had married someone else. Can you believe it?
Who wouldn’t want to marry me?
At first I was very hurt, but when I found out that she had married a stuffed toy I felt a bit better. Gingerbread Snowman does not compare to me. I’ve been through this before with Jurgen Klopp. Sooner or later she’ll realise that I’m a good catch and come running back. I intend to launch a full scale charm offensive in the morning.
New Year’s Eve was rather spoilt by fireworks, as was New Year’s Day. On my estate, it is customary to celebrate most days with fireworks. I do not understand nor like this situation, and I’m hoping tonight will be quieter.
The new year has started and I’ve contacted the government to suggest that it be called 2017. I’d like to thank all my followers and readers for supporting me and wish you all the best for the coming year.
Monty The Great
Early in today’s morning I did go out for a walks and I was Miss Chicken. Then I did meets Ugly Cats and he did say he was all upset that he hadn’t been invited to my house for the special event.
So I did say he was not all coming to my wedding because he does look at me all mean and he does want to come in my garden and steal my toys. Then he did say he didn’t even ever know about my wedding and that he was all talking about Rudolf’s visit that Monty had arranged for my big surprise.
Then I did try to eats him.
Then I did go home and did kick Monty in the head and I did say to him get lost.
Then I did get married.
To my lovely crunchy gingerbread snowman new Christmas toy because I does love him more than I does love Monty and Monty is in the dog house.
Then Monty did all try to be nice to me and I did say …….
Too late Monty.
Mrs C Gingerbread-Snowman
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE ❤️
I feel very bad about postponing the wedding, and I know that poor Chicken was very sad. She was very excited about having Father Christmas and Rudolf there but was so disappointed when it didn’t happen, that I have decided to give her a little surprise on New Year’s Eve to try to make up for it.
I have invited Rudolf over for tea! I expect she’ll be thrilled.
Father Christmas can’t make it due to a prior engagement, but at least Chicken will be able to meet Rudolf in person. If I’m not mistaken, and I rarely am, I think they will get on very well.
Let’s hope there aren’t any fireworks to spoil the night.
Monty 🐾🎄🐾
Christmas Chicken
I is having a great Christmas and I is having a lot of much goody food. I all did not get my baby rabbit but I did all get a lovely crunchy gingerbread man who is a snowman and he does have a crunchy body and a squeaky head.
Father Christmas did give him to me and I does love Father Christmas but I does not love Rudolf anymore still because he did ruin my big wedding day. Monty did say he had a big special surprise for me on New Year’s Eve so I does know it is my new wedding day and Monty is planning a special big special wedding for me. Rudolf is not coming but Father Christmas is all allowed to come.
Today we did go for walks in the frosty white outside. The Fairy did look silly because she did keeps slipping and I did not slip. So I win.
Chicken ❤️🎄❤️
Greyhounds In Charge 